From Groaning to Rejoicing

First of all, let me say....I've struggled about whether or not to put this blog in a public writing form...I always worry that I won't get my self out of the way enough to bring God the glory and the desire of my heart is always that others see Jesus through my postings...so, here is my best try....

On Friday, I found myself in a situation that I despise, detest, HATE...I found myself sitting in a doctor's office.  And, this time, not just for a regular yearly check up....we were sitting in an allergist' office for Luke's one year check up.  Last August, to my dismay, Luke was diagnosed with tree nut allergies. After two allergic reactions at home, skin testing showed that he was allergic to pecans, wal-nuts, and hazelnuts.  The skin testing, as well as a horrific allergic reaction to the seasonal changes (the year before last), also showed that Luke was highly allergic to grass, pollen, weeds, etc...basically, anything outdoors. Before our visit last August, I prayed and prayed and begged and begged for God to heal Luke of his allergies and that the results that we would get would show no allergies. When we left the allergist' office last August, I was devastated that the results I had prayed for were NOT what I got - we left with Epi-pen prescriptions and prescriptions for 2 or 3 different seasonal allergy medicines. At the time, I didn't know how to handle my emotions - I was disappointed, hurt, and yes, angry....most of all, I was confused...I know Jesus is a healer and I know that Jesus wants to make us whole so why was this happening to my child?

Today, I understand so more...I only hope I can put it into words accurately...

So, back to this current August....on Friday, there I sat....me, Landis, and Luke in the waiting room for 45 minutes.  The longer I waited, the more angry I became....not just because they were running so far behind, but because we had to be there in general....then, suddenly, the Holy Spirit began to bring God's Word alive to me....just that morning, I had read, in great detail, John Chapter 11 - which tells us about Lazarus' death.  It's a story many of us have heard but this time, I took quality time to read the chapter (in several different translations and referred back to a few Greek words).  I'm so glad I did because I had no idea that God was using that chapter to prepare and teach me for my experience on Friday.

As I sat in the waiting room, playing back the details of Lazarus' death, I began to see a similarity between my reaction of anger and Jesus' reaction.  John 11:32-33 says this, "Then when Mary was come where Jesus was, and saw him, she fell down at his feet, saying unto him, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.  When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he GROANED in the spirit, and was troubled."  You see, Jesus was in another city when Lazarus became sick and died, He wasn't on the scene to heal him and save him, so poor Mary was devastated, she didn't understand why Jesus (who knows all and can heal all) wasn't there to keep Lazarus alive. I can understand how Mary felt (in a tiny way).  But, even more importantly, look at Jesus' reaction...the Bible says, "He groaned in His Spirit."  I looked up the word "groaned" in the greek form and it means "to snort with anger, to murmur against."  You see Jesus was angry in His Spirit that death (which is the Devil's working) had come to take his friend, Lazarus.  Jesus despises death and sickness and he, like us, was troubled that the Devil had attempted to take his friend from this world.  This was how I felt....I was groaning in my Spirit because I was sitting amongst the Devil's kingdom in a place that was made for the sick.  I wanted out!!!  And, I wanted out right then!!!  It took all I had not to walk out and forget about the school paperwork, prescription refills, etc.  But, I knew deep in my heart, that the time for us to be out of this kingdom was not that day....just like Lazarus' healing did not happen on the day that Mary had wanted it.  So, I sat there and waited and continued to think on this chapter in God's Word....

Jesus says in John 11:14-15 to His disciples, "Then said Jesus unto them plainly, Lazarus is dead.  And I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, to the intent ye may believe; nevertheless, let us go unto him."  Oh me - this is powerful to me! Jesus KNEW the perfect timing of His Father and He knew that Lazarus' death was going to bring glory to God and bring believers into God's Kingdom, so Jesus rejoiced in the timing - He didn't question it, or worry about it - he had peace in it BUT when on to say - let's go to him - in other words, let's go make this right. Oh, what a loving savior we have!

You see....Jesus didn't heal Luke last August but the whole time, He knew that these allergies were going to bring glory to God in God's perfect timing. Jesus still came to Luke, just as I requested in my prayers last year, but He didn't come when I wanted....He came at a time that would bring the utmost glory to God and at a time that would teach me the most about my faith in healing. As you know if you've read my blogs before, when allergy season came around this year (March, April, May), Luke had NO symptoms - not a runny nose, not itchy eyes, NOTHING - we had NO prescriptions filled, we used no Claritin or Benadryl....Jesus healed Luke of His seasonal allergies and we received confirmation of that this year.  So, God heard my request, and, just as in Lazarus' death, it may have appeared to be "late" but it wasn't at all....the healing came right on time.  And, oh, how I see that now....

When the nurse finally invited us back to begin the check up, Landis and I couldn't help but grin as we answered her questions and talked about Luke's "allergies"....when I told her that we didn't even have the seasonal allergy prescriptions filled, she looked back at his chart and said, "Wow!  Last year, the skin testing showed him to be very positive for those allergies." Well, doc, he was touched by Jesus! I went on to tell her that Luke had come in contact with almost every kind of candy bar and peanut butter product that you could think of. She, like last year, encouraged us and reminded us that, even though he's not allergic to peanut butter (only tree nuts), he could still develop that allergy at any time and we should avoid all those products if possible.  We smiled and let her talk.  (I'm pretty sure she thought we were crazy but that's ok...we are crazy about our faith in Jesus!)  It's not her fault....she "has to" say these things, these warnings, she's "legally" responsible - her intentions are good...I believe that....and pray that she draws near to Jesus too.

The doctor went on to explain to us that 30% of children "out grow" a tree nut allergy and that this was very possible with Luke because his other allergies were showing no signs.  She told us (that in 2 years) before Luke starts Kindergarten, they will do follow up blood testing to determine if Luke is still allergic to the walnuts, pecans, and hazelnuts.  Oh wow! I look forward to that day!  You know why?  Because Jesus is on His way...John 11:40-45 says, "Jesus saith unto her (Martha), Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of  God?  They they took away the stone from the place where the dead was laid. And Jesus lifted up his eyes, and said, Father, I thank thee that thou hast heard me.  And I knew that thou hearest me always; but because of the people which stand by I said it, that they may believe that thou has sent me.  And when he thus had spoken, he cried with a loud voice, Lazarus, come forth.  And he that was dead came forth, bound hand and foot with grave clothes; and his face as bound with a napkin.  Jesus saith unto them, Loose him, and let him go.  Then many of the Jews which came to Mary, and had seen the things which Jesus did, believed on him." I am amazed!!! Jesus THANKED God for the raising of Lazarus' while, to the others' around, he was still "dead."  Jesus KNEW that Lazarus was going to be made whole BEFORE the obvious circumstances indicated that.

Jesus has taught me such a valuable lesson in these scriptures...I KNOW Jesus has heard me and that it is the will of God for Luke to be healed of ALL allergies. I haven't received the "medical" confirmation of a complete healing yet; however, that will come....in God's timing....in two years....and, during those two years, I'm going to live in John Chapter 11 and I'm going to pray through Jesus' words..."Father, I THANK thee that thou hast heard me.  And I know that thou hearest me always..."  You see Jesus knew His Father heard Him (whether He had the confirmation or not - the confirmation came so that others could see the glory of God and believe that Jesus was indeed God's son).  I, right now, here on August 25th, give God glory for what He has shown me and continues to show me about healing, His timing, and genuine faith in what He wants to do for His children.  Jesus has His hands on my precious Luke and with my faith, His Power, and in His timing, Luke will be made whole and God will receive ALL the glory.  I look forward to that day....to the day where my Spirit will not "groan" but my Spirit will "rejoice"...matter of fact, as soon as I left that doctor's office on Friday, thanks to the Living Word of God coming alive inside of me INSIDE that doctor's office, I left with a Spirit of rejoicing and prayed all the way home thanking God for loving me enough to teach me...

To sum it up, God has taught me this....the allergy testing last year frustrated me and I couldn't understand why this was happening to Luke, but now I see....there was an attack of the enemy and God had to teach me how to deal with those attacks. This experience has shown me how to use God's Word and the healing power of Jesus' blood to free Luke of this allergy mess.  Yes, the only way I can get complete confirmation is with the blood testing in two years.  And, I'm already in agreement with this....that Luke is a brother of Jesus....they share the same blood so Luke's blood will show pureness, health, strength, and no flaws.  Oh, how I look forward to that confirmation! Until then....in consistent prayer and studying of the Word is where I will live...

I always wonder why certain lessons that God teaches me I feel like I should write about...He teaches me so much that doesn't always get written down...so, today, my prayer is this....if someone out there is in a time of "groaning" and is reaching out for the time of "rejoicing" - I challenge you to read John Chapter 11, seek what the Holy Spirit wants to teach you, and then, like Martha and Mary, wait on Jesus' to show up - He will - it might not be in the timing we desire or in the way we desire....but God is always working for our good....ALWAYS!!!

And, if you've never heard the song by Karen Peck called "Four Days Late" - see if you can find it and listen to it....it's one of my favorites....even when Jesus is four days late, He's always on time!

Happy Sunday!

Toddy