Gifts

Over a year ago, a great friend of mine and sister in Jesus (Lindsey) dropped off a book on my doorstep - it was called "1,000 Gifts" by Ann Voskamp.  I was at a point in my life where I was struggling with fear, dread, and anxiety - I was at a place where I was having a difficult time finding peace - the peace, which I now know, that Jesus intended for us to have. I'm not sure that Lindsey knew that day how much I was struggling with this suffocating fear, but God did and He wanted my eyes opened to the peace, love, and joy that He offers us. I read the book and I began a journey that freed me...

In the book, the author challenges herself to begin making notes each day of the things in everyday life that she's thankful for...she considers every part of our lives as gifts and she searches her world for even the smallest ones.  Then, when she begins to feel overwhelmed, fearful, distant from God - she looks back over that list and is reminded of how much God loves her - the blessings that He has poured over her...in small ways and BIG WAYS....and, the most beautiful part, her list always goes back to the first gift....Jesus...God's only Son, given to us, so that we could overcome anything that we face in this life and in Jesus, we find JOY, PEACE, and LOVE all around us.

Off and on over the past year, I've been doing exactly what Ann did...I've started keeping a list of my 1,000 gifts that I see all around me each day. When I think about it, I jot down these "gifts" on my phone on a list that I title...my 1,000 gifts...(maybe one day, I will post them or maybe not)...the purpose of this list is for me to remember how much God loves me everyday and how much He wants me to enjoy life and to appreciate all that He has given me.  These "gifts" that I record are constant reminders to the enemy when he comes around and tries to get me to whine and complain, I can flip to my list and remind myself of all the reasons that I do NOT have to whine.  (Let's be honest - do I still have whiny moments? Yes, but they sure don't last as long as they used to.)  :)

Yesterday, God handed me a day full of these gifts and they came at such a sweet time - when I wasn't thinking about receiving them.  :)  Yesterday was opening day at the pool and Luke has been begging to go.  Luke and I love the pool - we spend hours there every summer. We play and play and play TOGETHER while we are there.  This year, a piece of me secretly dreaded the pool at times because I wondered how I was going to handle baby Kate and still be able to enjoy Luke.  (Landis is not a fan of the pool so he doesn't join us much and that's okay - the poor thing worked in the yard all day yesterday!)  Normally, I would ask my mom to come help me but she was out of town. So, for Luke's sake, off we went to the pool.  As I loaded the car with a TON of bags, I got a little nervous about how this was going to go - would Luke behave, would Kate like the water, would I be able to carry all the stuff??? Matter of fact, as I drove away, I looked at Landis and said, "We will either be back in 30 minutes or a few hours...not sure what to expect."

Well, to my total surprise we had a BLAST!!! Luke was an angel - he didn't argue with other kids, he didn't complain about the cold water, he stayed with me, he listened, and, most importantly, he LAUGHED, he swam, he made friends, and he had FUN.  Oh...and Kate, she loved the water, played in her float, and even took a little nap in the shade.  So...if I wanted to add to my 1,000 gifts list, here are some that God handed me yesterday....

-the best big brother helper ever
-giggles with Luke as I pulled him on the noodle and during our water gun battle
-snuggles with Kate as I watched Luke play cars with his buddies
-sitting on the bench sipping our slushies (even baby Kate had a few tastes)
-time to chat with some friends while the kids played
-watching Luke pull his baby sister around in the float as he reminded everyone else to back up and be careful around her float
-watching Luke's little legs dangle from the table as he sat so nicely eating his pizza

Do these things sound a little cheesy? Yes!  Do they sound like ordinary everyday life happenings?  Yes, they are! But, to me, a Mommy that values my time with my kids, these moments are gifts - moments that I don't want to forget and moments that I know God blesses me with on purpose because HE LOVES ME. And...God wants me to share my joy with others so that they, too, will know how much He loves them!

It makes me think of this...as Luke's Daddy, Landis wants to give Luke the desires of his heart - even if that desire is a piece of gum and around our house, it often is.  Luke will ask Landis for a piece of gum and sometimes it's Landis' last piece but he still gladly gives it to Luke and Luke accepts it with a thankful heart.  Well, if an earthly father enjoys giving away a piece of gum (such a small gift), why wouldn't our Heavenly Father enjoy giving away small everyday blessings like what I experienced yesterday? You see God knew the desires and worries of my heart yesterday - He knew that I wanted to make the day special for Luke, He knew that I didn't want to be stressed out because, thanks to Jesus, my Heavenly Father KNOWS me and THAT'S A GIFT!!!

In a book that I'm reading right now called, "Jesus Is..." by Judah Smith - the author says, "The good news about Jesus produces joy in the hearts of people.  It replaces depression, condemnation, and hopelessness with joy, faith, and hope."  When Jesus was born, the angels  proclaimed, "I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. Judah Smith reminds us in his book, "That's the gospel. JOY is central. JOY is imperative."

And, I say, the JOY begins with thankfulness....and the thankfulness begins with perception and how we see each moment in our day...do we look for the gifts or do we whine?  I've tried it both ways and I'm here to say....I've found the gifts....many of them and have a list to prove it....and...I'm going to keep finding them....Oh, how God loves us....

What gifts can you find today? In what ways is your heavenly Father lavishing His love upon you?

Start counting the ways....

Toddy

Kate - 7 Months

At 7 months, she says "Ma-ma" as she reaches for me, she also says "Da-da", she scoots on her belly and REALLY wants to crawl (she's moved a few tiny steps but is not on the move yet), she loves to pull up using her toy lion, she starts humming with me when I sing to her, one of her favorite songs is "Oh, how I love Jesus," she enjoys dumping blocks from her bucket and banging spoons on bowls in the kitchen, she doesn't care much for baby food yet, she loves catching bubbles, playing in her walker, and she still enjoys wagon rides AND of course, she adores her big brother. She continues to light up our lives DAILY...our baby Kate...a blessing!

Baby Kate and Our Journey of Faith

One year ago, on Monday, May 13th, I received a call on my cell phone....one of those calls that you never want to here...it was the PA at my OB office letting me know that some "genetic testing" that I had done the week before was showing an "increased risk" that our baby would have a genetic defect such as Down's Syndrome or other genetic diseases.  I remember that call like it was yesterday...I put down the phone in shock and thought to myself, "What? Did I just hear that correctly? I am healthy. I feel great. I have no history of genetic disorders in my family.  My first pregnancy was perfect. Did I just hear her say that?"  At that moment, reality hit and I realized yes, it was true...in a few days, I would go in for an early ultrasound so the doctors could examine our baby and determine if anything was wrong.  I cried....I cried hard....I felt lost....didn't know what to say or do....I couldn't even pray....so, I called Landis.  I told him what the doctor said. He was quiet, solemn, didn't say much...we just agreed to talk when we got home.  On that Monday afternoon, I did not know what I know now...I know now that one phone call changed my life...forever....for the good....let me tell you why....

Before this experience, I THOUGHT I was strong in faith.  I had sat in a church for months around believers that stood strong in their faith that Jesus was a healer - that He still healed today - that by His stripes we were healed and made whole and that all we had to do was reach out to Jesus and He would heal us.  That's what I thought I believed UNTIL the reality of a challenge of my faith hit home, hit me, hit my unborn child.  I began to realize that I didn't really have a revelation of what God's Word said about wholeness and what God's will is for babies, for us, and for our health.  I couldn't believe it, but I didn't know how to pray or what to ask for...my faith could have easily wavered and I could have given in to the enemy and said, "Okay, it is what it is and I will love this baby girl no matter what."  And, you know what? I would've loved her no matter what but God wanted to show me some things and I am so thankful that He did. 

That same Monday afternoon, Landis drove to my school....like the good, strong, faithful husband that he is, he couldn't wait until we got home to talk....he came in my classroom and saw me weak, fragile, wavering and he had a fire in his eyes....a look that I will never forget....a look that was NOT wavering...He told me with confidence that He had talked with God and that this baby was perfect, that the enemy would be scattered.  He then went on to claim that not only would our baby be perfect but that the rest of my pregnancy would be smoother than we could imagine - that I would have no anxiety - that I would have comfort to the very end and a smooth delivery.  We hugged and cried and agreed to stand on God's Word from that point on.  

As I drove home from school that day, I began to piece some things together....just days before, sitting in my living room doing my daily talks with Jesus and my morning study time, I found myself reading Psalm 139...which says this in verses 13-16, "For it was You who created my inward parts.  You knit me together in my mother's womb. I will praise You because I have been remarkably made and wonderfully made.  Your works are wonderful, and I know this very well.  My bones were not hidden from You when I was made in secret, when I was formed in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began." I know now that God was preparing my heart days before this negative report...He was reminding me of who was forming this perfect baby girl inside of me and He was asking me to trust Him.  

Landis and I had to wait until that Thursday (May 16th) for the check up ultrasound...from that Monday to Thursday, I had to fight a constant battle - it was a battle of faith taking place in my mind.  As you all know, when you have to wait and stand still, your mind can and will take you places that are not Godly, not scriptural - the enemy will worry you and will fill your mind with negative thoughts.  God knew that I wasn't at a point in my faith where I could guard my mind and heart alone - and because He loves me so much, he surrounded me with prayer warriors and people of faith that would speak God's will to me every time I needed a reminder.  During those four days of waiting, I learned that when the enemy attacks, God's plan is bigger and better and always works for our good...God was working for my good WEEKS before this attack, I just didn't know it...let me explain...

First of all, Landis' granny, a Godly prayer warrior in our family had a dream about the baby, she told Landis (several days before we received this report) that she had a dream about the baby and that it wasn't good...that's all she said...and then she prayed....When Landis called her and told her that we had talked to the doctor and received a negative report. Granny wasn't worried - she was prepared! She immediately gave me the scripture Psalm 91 to pray through.  She also told me to pray through 1 John 5:14-15. 

In the meantime, I contacted a prayer warrior friend of mine - Lindsey - I told her the whole story. I asked her for help....I told her that I needed some help knowing what scriptures I could stand on during this time....what parts of God's Word I could use to stand with unwavering faith that this baby girl would be perfect....from the other end of the text, she sent me Psalm 91.  Was that by accident???  NO!! It was God's plan...by design...God wanted me to know that He was in control and that He was fighting the battle for this baby against the enemy. That He had placed intercessory prayer warriors around us and to TRUST HIM.   

I remember melting in my front yard, crying, thanking God for loving me enough to speak to me through His Word and for surrounding me with Godly women who knew the Word and listened to the Spirit so they knew what Words to give me.  

During this same time, Landis talked to his friend, Josh, a son of God - strong in faith - and Josh gave Landis two scriptures to stand on: 

John 10:10 - "A thief comes only to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance." 

And...(just as Granny had said...) 1 John 5:14-15 - "This is the confidence that we have in Him, when we ask anything according to His Will, then he hears us, and if we KNOW that He hears us, then we know that we have the petitions that we desired."  

I studied each scripture, I prayed through each scripture, I asked the Holy Spirit to give me revelation of each scripture.  And, each day, I became stronger in my faith.  Then, one afternoon that week while I was on my afternoon walk, I began talking to the Lord about this baby - praying these scriptures - and I heard so plainly in my Spirit, "Remember, take My Word - no other word - My Word. This baby girl is perfect."  I KNEW then that it was settled - I had the same confidence that Landis' had - this baby girl was perfect. 

But...the enemy is persistent...and he doesn't give up easily...just a few hours after God talked to me about trusting His Word, a well meaning family member said to me, "Natasha - I will be praying for that baby but remember, you can handle anything that God gives you."  I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything but quietly heard in my Spirit again, "Take My Word. Take My Word."  So...I did...God is not a liar...He is 100% accurate...so I stood on His Word.  

As Landis and I walked into the ultrasound room on Thursday, May 16th, we both had a peace beyond our understanding....I can't put into words the peace that we had.  The ultrasound tech went from one organ to another, from one body part to another, each time, confidently saying, "Normal, perfect, no complications."  She was able to see everything she needed in order to tell us that our baby girl was PERFECT....just as God had promised!!! Oh, what joy flooded our souls...such relief and thankfulness...and then....the enemy strikes again....

We sat down with the doctor...he very plainly told us that yes, the ultrasound was normal but there was still not 100% guarantee that our baby girl was perfect.  He reminded us that we had to make a decision on whether or not to abort by 20 weeks so he recommended that we take another blood test that was 98% accurate of showing whether or not the baby had a genetic disorder.  Landis and I very quickly decided ABSOLUTELY NOT! We have our Word - a Word from God that this baby girl was perfect and the ultrasound just showed us the confirmation that we were expecting. 

You see...Ephesians 6 says that the Devil will throw fiery darts at us to throw us off course...I believe that any extra testing that Landis and I would have agreed to would have given the enemy room to plant negative seeds in our mind so we decided to stand on God's Words and His promises and have faith in Him - trust Him without wavering...and, that's what we did....and you know the rest of the story....baby Kate was born 6 months ago....PERFECT, in a delivery that had no complications, and not only is she perfect, but God put a gentle, calm Spirit in her - she tolerates everything - she smiles constantly, she rarely fusses - she already enjoys everyone that she sees - she is God's property - thanks to Jesus' sacrifice, God formed her perfectly in His secret place AND because of the awesome God that He is, He used the enemy's attack of a negative report to build my faith and Landis' faith.  

You see - no longer do I waver back and forth with this question, "Is it God's will for complete healing and wholeness to take place?" Instead, I KNOW what God's will is....a perfect, healthy body - will we have minor irritations and attacks in this flesh? Yes!  But, we can remember this...

Psalm 103:2-4 says, "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: who forgives all thine iniquities, who HEALS ALL MY diseases, Who redeems my life from destruction, who crowns me with lovingkindness and tender mercies." 

And, 1 Peter 2:24 says...."(Jesus) his own self bare our sins in his body upon the tree, that we, having died unto sins, might live unto righteousness; by whose stripes you were healed."  

You see...Jesus could've died an easier way, but God the Father and Jesus the Son chose the painful beatings and torture and agonizing death on the cross so that Jesus could defeat death, sin, and sickness and disease.  Yes, we will face attacks from the Devil and our fleshly bodies will one day wear out but God tells us that He will satisfy us with long FULL lives with the capabilities of taking His Word (His Good News - The Gospel) to others - we were designed to run the race that God has set before us with endurance SO when an attack comes, we MUST stand on God's side - use God's Words as our weapons.  

So, maybe this blog was for me to be reminded once again what God taught me a year ago or maybe it's for someone reading this...someone who has received a negative report from the doctor....you're shocked, worried, don't have the scriptures to stand on or the words to pray....maybe this is for you....God wants you to know that the same power that raised Jesus from the dead can and will heal you....

Doctors speak with terminology such as "increased risks" and "chances of" - when God speaks, it's dead on - bull's eye accurate. There are no risks or chances in believing in what Jesus did for us. Jesus said BEFORE he was crucified that He would go defeat death and sin and would rise again.  He didn't say "maybe" or there was an "increased percentage."  He said it! And...HE DID IT!!! He was put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the Spirit.  The same can happen to us if we trust and believe in Jesus - when we are born again, we are a reproduction of God and we have the same power in us that Jesus had when He walked this Earth.  This power healed diseases then and it will and can now.  

The prince of this world (the Devil) tried to attack our baby girl and he attacked my faith - hoping that I would waver and give in to his plan.  God wasn't the attacker - He was the redeemer - He used the attack to strengthen me forever and now, it's my responsibility to help others (when God calls me to).  

Romans 8:31-32 says this, "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?" Gang - God LOVES us - beyond our understanding - He wants to give to us abundantly above what we can ever ask or think - all we have to do is accept His Son - Jesus - and then trust Him, walk with Him, abide with Him - and when we walk with Jesus, we are always on the winning side of any battle we face. Our baby girl - sweet Miss Kate - will always be a reminder of just that to me - a reminder of God's love, power, faithfulness, and of how strong and powerful His Words are - I don't know what may have come of Kate if we would've let the Devil have his way...it doesn't matter....our PERFECT baby girl lives - abundantly, perfectly - prepared in Her Heavenly Father's secret place....prepared to do His Works in the Kingdom of God....prepared to take Jesus into the world...God is good - SO GOOD!!! 

Here are a few pictures of baby Kate in all her perfection! :)