A Graceful Bye, Bye

That was a fairly graceful "bye, bye" to himself in the mirror in the china cabinet....

Now....in this next video...the "bye, bye" isn't quite so graceful....check it out...

Those videos were taken about midway through the summer here at home one afternoon when Luke and I were playing. It was one of those things that I just happened to have the camera on for and I was thankful - what a sweet, yet funny thing to catch on camera! What can I say - Luke is graceful like his mommy! :)

I titled this blog "A Graceful Bye, Bye" because, like Luke's waves in the video, my transition from stay at home summer mommy to go back to work mommy has had its ups and downs - I've only worked two days this week (one more to go) and I have fallen down emotionally a few times and, with Luke's help have been able to get back up.

Let me explain....I had Monday off and Luke and I had a great day - we went to the pool, we went to the park, we ate lunch together, we spent some time with Landis, and then played outside as long as we could Monday night playing hide and seek around the building trying to savor every moment we had together.

After Luke went to bed on Monday night, I stayed up and typed up his schedule and some other random things that I wanted Carolyn (my mother in law) to know about. I left this typed information for her on Tuesday morning. I left the house on Tuesday morning in pretty good spirits - not too depressed, I knew I only had a 3 day week and I also knew that I was coming home for lunch to eat with Luke and to rock him and put him down for his nap. So, that's what I did - I worked that morning and then came home for lunch. Well, to my surprise, my mother in law was very angry with me when I returned home. She was upset that I had left her "instructions". She felt like she knew what to do because she kept him all last year. Well, in my mind, I knew that some things had changed with his schedule this summer that was working well for him (examples: a regular nap time that wasn't established before, no pacis, and limited TV) and I expected these things to continue. I explained my thinking to Carolyn and even though she was still quite upset, we moved on. I rocked Luke to sleep and then left for work.

When I got home from work, we didn't say much to each other and Luke and I immediately began playing together. We laughed and giggled and played on the bed for awhile and then we went to gymnastics and had a great time. After gymnastics, we stopped by the store and got some school supplies, came home, put on the pjs, read some books, rocked, and then out Luke went. I was very happy with how our night went - I felt like we were able to enjoy each other and that I had some quality time with my baby boy; however, the fact that my mother in law was upset with me bothered me a lot. Carolyn and I are a team - we have to work together to raise this special treasure that we have been blessed with, so I prayed about it and slept on it and woke up with a plan...

Those of you who read my blog know that I have bragged on my mother in law on numerous occasions - I truly do love and appreciate everything that she does for us. You also know that I print every blog that I write so I have blog "archives" in notebooks. Carolyn does not have regular access to a computer so she doesn't get a chance to read all the compliments that I give her on this blog. So...my idea....get out my blog journals and let her read for herself how much I appreciate her. This morning, I left the blog turned to a page that I wrote just for her back in March and I wrote her a note asking her to please read it.

Well, my plan must have worked because when I returned home from work today, she never said anything but she was extremely pleasant. I think we were able to work it out and that she feels better about my reasoning behind why I leave detailed notes. The bottom line is....I want to be here with Luke everyday, but, I can't, I have a job to do and I believe that my job is where God wants me....we have to have Christian leaders in schools and, even though it's hard to leave my sweet baby, I know that's my responsibility and I try to always keep a positive balance. With that being said, my positive balance includes making myself feel better by letting Carolyn (my child's primary care giver) know exactly how I am feeling. I did that this week - for two days now, Luke has done well - napped well, ate well, and played well - if my notes are part of the reason that is happening, then they were worth it. So, a few disagreements or not...my "instructions" will most likely continue in the future....I just can't help it.

Anyway....

Now...on to my favorite part....I already felt better about my relationship with my mother in law after she left today - I had a lot on my mind about work but wanted to make my night with Luke a good one so I decided to go to the pool to meet our buddies, Heather and Silas. Luke was very whiny at the pool - he didn't really want to swim - he wanted to play basketball and run around the sidewalk. I was scared that he would get hurt, so after one popsicle, a few minutes in the big pool and in the little pool, and some basketball playing, we left. I was getting a little discouraged because Luke was so whiny - for a few minutes, I thought to myself, "This is ridiculous. While I am at work all day, Luke is in a great mood and then when I get home, he's so whiny that we can't do anything." I guess I was feeling sorry for myself and God knew I needed some reassurance because things turned around quickly....

Landis was playing golf so Luke and I went to McDonald's for dinner. I let him have a happy meal with chicken nuggets, apple slices, and his favorite part, a Sprite in a real kiddie McDonald's cup. Well, he was the sweetest thing. He ate so good, sat in his chair, talked to me and laughed, and drank his tiny Sprite. We had the best time just me and him eating dinner together. Then, when we got home. I pushed him in his red car - I would go real fast, then real slow, then backwards, and then forwards, up hills, and down hills - being silly the whole time. We also took a few rides on Thomas. He can almost completely drive Thomas by himself now, so it's so much fun to watch him and help him steer. Then, we chased each other around the cars and giggled and tickled and laughed - so much fun! I was so thankful that I still found the energy to truly put all of my efforts into playing with him - a big school meeting tomorrow???? Not on my mind!!! :) Finally, we came inside, giggled and played in the bathtub, put pjs on, brushed teeth and began the night time routine.

The whole night was super fun but there was one moment that just brought tears to my eyes. After I put Luke's pjs on - I let him lay on the changing table for a few extra minutes and we practiced making all the animal sounds. I love to hear him do this. When I picked him up, he did the most lovable thing - he squeezed me so tight and said, "MY Mommy, Hug"....I just about melted.....my heart surely did and the tears rolled down my cheeks. My little boy - only 19 months old knew exactly what mommy needed to hear. He knew that I needed to know that it doesn't matter whether I am a working mommy or a stay at home mommy - he still loves me and he still knows that I love him! Oh my goodness....what a blessing....MY Luke....what a blessing! :)

So....after finishing up my school work for our big opening meeting tomorrow....I will lay my head down in such sweet peace....a peace of knowing that even though my return to work started off not so graceful....Luke helped me get back up again!

To all my educator friends who will be leaving your sweet babies tomorrow - I hope you too have a graceful bye, bye to summer - keep your head up and remember - your kiddos love you very much and they will be waiting for you with open arms after those school days conclude. And, don't forget this - what you are doing for other children everyday - the positive differences you are making in students' lives will make your own children very proud to call you, "MY Mommy!" Sweet dreams my friends, sweet dreams....

Toddy

(Please make sure to read the blog post immediately after this one....I posted it at the same time as this one....it's the last Road Trip and Play Dates post of the summer...)