Obviously, we are in the middle of the Christmas season - my favorite time of the year! I have always loved Christmas but the meaning of Christmas and it's "specialness" to me has changed through the years. I used to get excited about Christmas because I was looking forward to getting that long awaited gift, or I looked forward to Christmas because I enjoyed decorating my house and reading Christmas novels. When I had children, Christmas was exciting because I looked forward to decorating with them, participating in all the Christmas activities, and then, of course, watching their excitement as they opened their presents on Christmas morning. All of these things are still a lot of fun but the meaning of Christmas is no longer these "things" to me...Christmas has become about a "person" to me and His name is Jesus.
You see three years ago, the enemy attacked me with extreme anxiety and suffocating fear. For about 2 years, I walked around my daily life in dread of something bad happening to me, my family, or this country. It's difficult to describe what was going on in my mind. I remember sitting on my back porch one beautiful Sunday morning, watching Luke playing in the leaves in our backyard - it was a moment that I should have cherished because life was so good - I was so blessed but...I remember sitting there thinking about how the world could end tomorrow...I remember begging God not to let something hurt my baby boy. I didn't know then but I know now...the devil had infiltrated my mind with fear and it had to be replaced. This feeling of fear seemed to peek around Thanksgiving time and as the Christmas season picked up, I felt more and more sad and dreadful. No one around me knew it...I hid it well and even turned to alcohol to cover it up.
By the time the week of Christmas got here, I was miserable...my mind was racing 100 miles an hour all the time and it was not racing on the good things. I thank Jesus that I had been continuing to go to Church during this dark time - I was hearing God's Word and I was studying God's Word on my own. I was doing all that I knew to do and I was still struggling with fear. My pastor had been teaching on the importance of being filled with the Holy Spirit and he had taught us the difference in being saved and the filling of the Holy Spirit. I knew that I wasn't filled with the Holy Spirit but I was scared of what would happen if I asked Jesus to baptize me in Him. Then, the Sunday before Christmas, my pastor, through the power of the Holy Spirit, led an amazing service - none like I have seen or been a part of before. He began the service by reading from the Bible and then he stopped and told us that he could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit on Him and in that place. He reminded us that the first Christmas was full of JOY and PEACE - both of which I was NOT experiencing in my life at the time. He then told us that Jesus wanted to release JOY and PEACE in that room on that day and he invited us to come and be prayed for. One by one people came to him, he laid their hands on them, and JOY and PEACE filled their bodies. Some people laughed out loud, some people cried happy tears, some people began dancing, and some people sang. I could feel the joy in the room and it was unbelievable! There was something in my body and in my mind that knew I just had to go experience this JOY for myself!
During the service before this one, I requested prayer from a friend who prayed for me (with her hands upon me) that Jesus fill me with the Holy Spirit. I didn't realize at that moment that her prayer was answered but on this joyous Sunday before Christmas, my prayer was confirmed with signs. As I felt the energy and abundance of peace and joy fill our sanctuary, I stepped out into the aisle and walked to my preacher. I remember saying..."I don't want to miss this experience....and I need to be filled..." My pastor laid his hands on me and prayed with me and it's hard to put into words what happened...I could feel every ounce of fear, anxiety, dread, and misery leave my body and be replaced with an overwhelming amount of joy, peace, wholeness, happiness, all the good thoughts and feelings that I had longed for...this could only happen through the power of the Holy Spirit taking over my flesh and making me WHOLE in my MIND and in my body. The devil had no room anywhere in my body anymore. PRAISE JESUS!
That Christmas - the Christmas of 2012 was the most amazing Christmas I've ever had. I was happy, joyful, and at peace. God continued to confirm my baptism in the Holy Spirit as I began praying in tongues and as I received revelation from His Word that I never had before. The fear was gone and Jesus was home!!!
So...now, today, this year and every year, Christmas means Jesus to me - it means JOY, it means PEACE, it means sharing what Jesus has done in my life with others. Because we wanted Christmas to be focused on Jesus, our family made some changes....we talked to Luke about the truth of Santa Claus and we have made an effort not to keep ourselves so BUSY during the Christmas season. We read Luke and Kate the story of Jesus' birth straight from the Bible (not a children's book) and we take every chance we get to talk with them about how the Christmas "stuff" that we see is related to Jesus (example: we put lights on the tree because Jesus is the light of our world.) I'm not saying that we are perfect and that we do everything right - but we do make the effort to keep Christmas focused on Jesus - the REAL reason for this season. It is so sad that this season is commercialized so much and that children can tell you all about the "realness" of Santa and know so much about him but, in reality, he is a lie but most children don't know Jesus. Oh, Jesus, help us to get refocused on you!
One way that I celebrate Jesus during every Christmas season is I take the time to jot down all the ways that I've seen Jesus manifest in my life throughout the year. As I add and add to the list, I am reminded of how I can't live without Jesus and I become overwhelmingly thankful for that first Christmas night.
I'm not going to share all these testimonies on this blog today but I do want to tell you about one....
You know I just wrote about how I was filled with the Holy Spirit years ago and how now He is able to take control of my flesh when I allow Him and sometimes when I don't expect Him, which is so comforting. Well...a few weeks ago, I experienced one of those miraculous moments. Hang with me as I share....
This year, I took on a new job as a lead teacher at a different school. So, I started a NEW position at another different school - this is the 6th time that I've changed schools in my career. This job also meant that I would once again be leading a group of educators - which I love but had stepped away from because it was taking time away from my family.
Well, I guess God wanted me back in school leadership because He removed me from my other job and placed me in this one. I knew I had to trust Him and do all that I could to fulfill His will with a positive attitude and diligence. The first three months of school I worked myself crazy - I have been working on the weekends, doing work as early as 4:00am, staying later in the afternoons than I would like - I was tired!!! Just plain tired!!!
So...one morning, I threw MY hands up, literally, and I told Jesus....I can't do this anymore!!! I'm tired - I need help!!! What happened next was a miracle....my body melted, I closed my eyes, and just cried out to Jesus and I began to feel my body rock (like someone was holding me in a rocking chair)....it was amazing!!! I felt peace overwhelm me - that same peace that I felt on that Christmas 3 years ago. I cried happy tears, I praised Jesus and in the midst of my praise, I heard the words of one of my favorite songs...
I'm coming to this place
Tired and far away
I'm longing for some peace
To help me through this day
So here's my life Lord, here's my plea
Tired and far away
I'm longing for some peace
To help me through this day
So here's my life Lord, here's my plea
I want to see your face
Feel your warm embrace
And lay here like a child
In your loving arms
Where I'm safe from harm
And the sorrow fades away
Feel your warm embrace
And lay here like a child
In your loving arms
Where I'm safe from harm
And the sorrow fades away
There's healing in your name
So I cry out to you
Forgiveness is your way
Won't you see my through
So here's my life Lord, here's my plea
So I cry out to you
Forgiveness is your way
Won't you see my through
So here's my life Lord, here's my plea
I want to see your face
Feel your warm embrace
And lay here like a child
In your loving arms
Where I'm safe from harm
Crystal Lewis - Like A Child Lyrics | MetroLyrics Feel your warm embrace
And lay here like a child
In your loving arms
Where I'm safe from harm
At that moment, I knew exactly what Jesus was telling me...He was reminding me to REST...like a child lying in His Father's arms....just rest....
So...I did...I rested in the arms of Jesus as He rocked me...and as He rocked me, my mind was once again filled with the right things....Jesus began setting my priorities straight....He lovingly took away my stress and replaced it with trust!! He reminded me to take one day at a time....to put Him first and the rest would fall into place. And, you know what? I've made an effort to thank Jesus for His rest every morning...I've put work to the side as much as possible outside of school and trusted the Lord that I would get it done during the school day. And, amazingly, I walked out the door on Friday with just a small, few things to take care of this weekend. Thank you Jesus! We serve a God who cares about every detail of our lives - every single one!!! :) Don't forget that during the hustle and bustle of this Christmas season....
I write all of this today for several reasons....
(1) to encourage you to REST during this Christmas season....take some time to sit down with your family, read the Christmas story straight from the Bible and then talk as a family about how you have seen Jesus manifest in your lives this year
(2) put JESUS first....not work, not shopping....just sit by your tree, look at those beautiful LIGHTS, and praise Him...for without Jesus, there would be no LIGHT, no hope...there would be no JOY and no PEACE
(3) to remind you of the importance of being filled with the Holy Spirit...if you have asked Jesus to become one with your Spirit and you have accepted Him as your savior but you have never asked Jesus to baptize you with the Holy Spirit, I invite you to take that step
"For to us a Child is born, to us a Son is given: and the government shall be upon His shoulder, and His name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9:6
Jesus is no longer in that manger....He is ALIVE and ACTIVE in Earth today...I pray that He becomes a friend, a deliverer, and a healer to you PERSONALLY today!
Merry Christmas friends!!!
Love,
Toddy
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