Thinking back...

Those pictures you just saw were actually taken at the end of June....Luke looked so much younger than 18 months old, didn't he??? I guess it was the sweet baby faces he was making or maybe it was the diaper only look - whatever it was - those pictures sure did make me think of Luke as a baby.....these pictures along with the arrival of precious baby Sutton Claire Parker - who arrived last Saturday to her proud parents, Megan (my college roommate) and Eric, made me think back to Luke's baby days....I don't consider Luke a baby anymore, I think I would call him a toddler - he talks all the time, walks, runs, and climbs, and shows emotions quite well - I think those things graduate him to the "toddler" stage. :)

There are days that I miss Luke as a baby but then most of the time I think this age is better - at this age, he can tell me what he wants, he can show me that he loves me with hugs and kisses and he says and does the cutest things that even when I miss holding that tiny 7 pounder, he reminds me quickly that he is sweet enough right now. :)

Thinking of the baby stage does remind me of my wonderful 16 month, 24 day journey of nursing Luke. I never blogged much about that journey so I thought this would be a good time.

My friend, Megan (Sutton's mommy), in her first few days of motherhood described nursing as "magical" - I like this description but would add one word to it and say that being a nursing mommy is a "magical blessing". I add that word because there are many mothers out there that would have adored the chance to nurse their babies but, for some reason, they could not. This just makes me even more thankful that I was blessed with the opportunity to provide the nourishment and bonding experience of nursing to my precious Luke.

Every nursing mom has a different journey....here's a little bit about mine...

You know nursing isn't easy - for a few weeks, there is some physical pain involved as well as the fact that you live in a total state of exhaustion. The fact that no one else can provide each feeding (including the 2:00 and 5:00am feedings) is tiring and demanding.

But, without a doubt, the positives outweigh these trying times. I vividly remember those precious quiet times that Luke and I had - the moments where he would look up at me with such admiration and love....when things got busy and he was passed around from person to person, I cherished knowing that at least every 3 hours, I would get my time with him and we would be able to go to a quiet place and have our time together. These feeding times became our time to connect and bond - this was when I would talk to him about how much I loved him and tell him about all of the blessings that he had to look forward to. This mommy and Luke time is when I was able to enjoy all his baby sounds - grunting, cooing, squeaking. This is the time when I got to see him smile for the first time. I always loved how he felt in my arms - I just couldn't get enough of cuddling and kissing his tiny little body.

When he was 3 months old and I returned to work, nursing had its challenges but also many benefits. It was difficult to pump 3 times a day, but at the same time, when I pumped, I felt close to Luke for those few minutes - I would look at pictures of him and think about grabbing him in my arms when I got home. It made getting through the work day just a little easier.

Then, when the time came to run home and grab him - that's what I did and usually fed him pretty soon after coming home. Once again, this was the time that we reconnected after many hours of being apart. Even if I had a hard day at work, holding and nursing baby Luke made everything else in the world go away. No more stressing about work when I was at home - Luke was the only thing on my mind.

The older Luke got, the more clearer it became how much he enjoyed our bonding time. From about 6 months to 12 months, he would get very upset if I wasn't at home to nurse him at bed time or nap times. (So, obviously, I didn't leave home much during these times.) Luke would let me know in a very clear way when he was ready to nurse (he would pull on my shirt). Matter of fact, I think I would say that the shirt pulling was probably his first true signs of communicating exactly what he wanted. Luke held on to the shirt pulling trick for a long time - right up to the end....

Speaking of "the end", because nursing was so special to me and to Luke, I dreaded the one year mark because I knew the time had come to back off of some of the feedings. At Luke's one year check-up, I was pleased to hear the pediatrician say to take it slow and that time would tell when we were ready. Well, amazingly, that's what happened.....Luke quickly got to the point that he was so "busy" during the day that he didn't want to nurse. He even dropped his AM feeding fairly quick. The only feedings that he didn't want to drop were sleep time feedings (nap time and bed time). So, by Spring Break (mid-April ), I had stopped all morning and daytime feedings but had continued with nap and bed time feedings.

As Luke got older and began saying words and pointing and expressing his thoughts more clearly, I became more and more uncomfortable with nursing. It's hard to explain how it happened but, the sweet, quiet feeding times began to feel out of place. Luke was able to hug me, kiss me, laugh with me, say a few words, and show me that he was listening to me so the quiet bonding time was no longer needed because we had other ways of bonding, and, of course, Luke no longer needed nourishment in this way - he was eating tons of table food and drinking real milk. So, with this in mind, I dropped his nap time feedings after Spring Break and then, on May 15th, I nursed Luke before bed time and on May 16th decided that I wasn't going to nurse anymore - I didn't that night and haven't since.

I didn't think to myself on May 15th, "This is the last feeding." Sometimes I wish I would have- because maybe I would have savored the May 15th bed time nursing time more. Or, maybe because I let go all of a sudden, I didn't have to "dread" the last night or try to talk myself out of it. I knew that Luke would never completely give up nursing on his own - I had to make the decision and May 15th, I did.

After that last night, Luke pulled on my shirt for about a week. He only got completely angry to the point of tears for two nights. And, even then, he was calmed fairly quickly with his cup of milk, paci, and a book.

Now that Luke is 19 months old and talking in sentences, I am so thankful that I stopped nursing when I did. Yes, there are times that I miss that special bonding time but then I think of moments like my last post when Luke verbalized, "My Mommy" and gave me a huge hug and I remember that our connection now is much stronger than it was then and it gets stronger everyday. Now, I'm not the only one initiating the affection, Luke shows me he loves me too. :)

I will conclude my journey with this - to anyone out there reading this blog who has the opportunity to nurse your child - please try it - it is a "magical blessing" and worth every ounce of pain, inconvenience, and hours of lost sleep. It provides mommy and baby time that you will never get back - enjoy every moment! :)

As always, thank you for reading,

Toddy

A Graceful Bye, Bye

That was a fairly graceful "bye, bye" to himself in the mirror in the china cabinet....

Now....in this next video...the "bye, bye" isn't quite so graceful....check it out...

Those videos were taken about midway through the summer here at home one afternoon when Luke and I were playing. It was one of those things that I just happened to have the camera on for and I was thankful - what a sweet, yet funny thing to catch on camera! What can I say - Luke is graceful like his mommy! :)

I titled this blog "A Graceful Bye, Bye" because, like Luke's waves in the video, my transition from stay at home summer mommy to go back to work mommy has had its ups and downs - I've only worked two days this week (one more to go) and I have fallen down emotionally a few times and, with Luke's help have been able to get back up.

Let me explain....I had Monday off and Luke and I had a great day - we went to the pool, we went to the park, we ate lunch together, we spent some time with Landis, and then played outside as long as we could Monday night playing hide and seek around the building trying to savor every moment we had together.

After Luke went to bed on Monday night, I stayed up and typed up his schedule and some other random things that I wanted Carolyn (my mother in law) to know about. I left this typed information for her on Tuesday morning. I left the house on Tuesday morning in pretty good spirits - not too depressed, I knew I only had a 3 day week and I also knew that I was coming home for lunch to eat with Luke and to rock him and put him down for his nap. So, that's what I did - I worked that morning and then came home for lunch. Well, to my surprise, my mother in law was very angry with me when I returned home. She was upset that I had left her "instructions". She felt like she knew what to do because she kept him all last year. Well, in my mind, I knew that some things had changed with his schedule this summer that was working well for him (examples: a regular nap time that wasn't established before, no pacis, and limited TV) and I expected these things to continue. I explained my thinking to Carolyn and even though she was still quite upset, we moved on. I rocked Luke to sleep and then left for work.

When I got home from work, we didn't say much to each other and Luke and I immediately began playing together. We laughed and giggled and played on the bed for awhile and then we went to gymnastics and had a great time. After gymnastics, we stopped by the store and got some school supplies, came home, put on the pjs, read some books, rocked, and then out Luke went. I was very happy with how our night went - I felt like we were able to enjoy each other and that I had some quality time with my baby boy; however, the fact that my mother in law was upset with me bothered me a lot. Carolyn and I are a team - we have to work together to raise this special treasure that we have been blessed with, so I prayed about it and slept on it and woke up with a plan...

Those of you who read my blog know that I have bragged on my mother in law on numerous occasions - I truly do love and appreciate everything that she does for us. You also know that I print every blog that I write so I have blog "archives" in notebooks. Carolyn does not have regular access to a computer so she doesn't get a chance to read all the compliments that I give her on this blog. So...my idea....get out my blog journals and let her read for herself how much I appreciate her. This morning, I left the blog turned to a page that I wrote just for her back in March and I wrote her a note asking her to please read it.

Well, my plan must have worked because when I returned home from work today, she never said anything but she was extremely pleasant. I think we were able to work it out and that she feels better about my reasoning behind why I leave detailed notes. The bottom line is....I want to be here with Luke everyday, but, I can't, I have a job to do and I believe that my job is where God wants me....we have to have Christian leaders in schools and, even though it's hard to leave my sweet baby, I know that's my responsibility and I try to always keep a positive balance. With that being said, my positive balance includes making myself feel better by letting Carolyn (my child's primary care giver) know exactly how I am feeling. I did that this week - for two days now, Luke has done well - napped well, ate well, and played well - if my notes are part of the reason that is happening, then they were worth it. So, a few disagreements or not...my "instructions" will most likely continue in the future....I just can't help it.

Anyway....

Now...on to my favorite part....I already felt better about my relationship with my mother in law after she left today - I had a lot on my mind about work but wanted to make my night with Luke a good one so I decided to go to the pool to meet our buddies, Heather and Silas. Luke was very whiny at the pool - he didn't really want to swim - he wanted to play basketball and run around the sidewalk. I was scared that he would get hurt, so after one popsicle, a few minutes in the big pool and in the little pool, and some basketball playing, we left. I was getting a little discouraged because Luke was so whiny - for a few minutes, I thought to myself, "This is ridiculous. While I am at work all day, Luke is in a great mood and then when I get home, he's so whiny that we can't do anything." I guess I was feeling sorry for myself and God knew I needed some reassurance because things turned around quickly....

Landis was playing golf so Luke and I went to McDonald's for dinner. I let him have a happy meal with chicken nuggets, apple slices, and his favorite part, a Sprite in a real kiddie McDonald's cup. Well, he was the sweetest thing. He ate so good, sat in his chair, talked to me and laughed, and drank his tiny Sprite. We had the best time just me and him eating dinner together. Then, when we got home. I pushed him in his red car - I would go real fast, then real slow, then backwards, and then forwards, up hills, and down hills - being silly the whole time. We also took a few rides on Thomas. He can almost completely drive Thomas by himself now, so it's so much fun to watch him and help him steer. Then, we chased each other around the cars and giggled and tickled and laughed - so much fun! I was so thankful that I still found the energy to truly put all of my efforts into playing with him - a big school meeting tomorrow???? Not on my mind!!! :) Finally, we came inside, giggled and played in the bathtub, put pjs on, brushed teeth and began the night time routine.

The whole night was super fun but there was one moment that just brought tears to my eyes. After I put Luke's pjs on - I let him lay on the changing table for a few extra minutes and we practiced making all the animal sounds. I love to hear him do this. When I picked him up, he did the most lovable thing - he squeezed me so tight and said, "MY Mommy, Hug"....I just about melted.....my heart surely did and the tears rolled down my cheeks. My little boy - only 19 months old knew exactly what mommy needed to hear. He knew that I needed to know that it doesn't matter whether I am a working mommy or a stay at home mommy - he still loves me and he still knows that I love him! Oh my goodness....what a blessing....MY Luke....what a blessing! :)

So....after finishing up my school work for our big opening meeting tomorrow....I will lay my head down in such sweet peace....a peace of knowing that even though my return to work started off not so graceful....Luke helped me get back up again!

To all my educator friends who will be leaving your sweet babies tomorrow - I hope you too have a graceful bye, bye to summer - keep your head up and remember - your kiddos love you very much and they will be waiting for you with open arms after those school days conclude. And, don't forget this - what you are doing for other children everyday - the positive differences you are making in students' lives will make your own children very proud to call you, "MY Mommy!" Sweet dreams my friends, sweet dreams....

Toddy

(Please make sure to read the blog post immediately after this one....I posted it at the same time as this one....it's the last Road Trip and Play Dates post of the summer...)

Play Dates and Road Trip - Part 7

It is sad to say that this is my last Play Dates and Road Trip post for the summer....Luke and I will continue to take some weekend road trips, but, for now, our summer is drawing to a close.

We did not take a long road trip last week so I combined some short road trips that we have taken around here this summer.

But, first our play date...this week, we stayed true to our favorite play date friends, Heather and Silas. Here are the boys enjoying a popsicle at the pool....super cute!! :) (Good news....many more pool play dates to come because the pool stays open until Labor Day and we plan on going after work a few days a week. And...don't forget...September beach trip with Silas and his family coming soon! :)

Here are a few short road trips that Luke and I have taken....this summer, we have visited many different parks - I don't know that I could name them all but I will try so you can check them out - Creekside Park (Archdale), Hanes Park (near the mall in Winston), Ball Park Rd park (Thomasville), Miracle League Park (High Point), Grimes Park and Finch Park (Lexington), Oak Hollow Park (High Point), and City Lake Park (Jamestown). There may be more that I don't remember....these next few pictures were taken at Miracle League Park in High Point....the playground is designed for handicapped children so it's super safe for little ones like Luke....






We took several trips a week to the pool....but, you knew that, didn't you??? :) By the way, I never posted about this, but Luke did take two swim lessons at the YMCA this summer....he did okay but will probably do much better next year. :)

On several occasions, I took Luke to play on the indoor playground at Hanes Mall...he also loved to play on the cars that you ride...

And....if you didn't know this, now you will...Hanes Mall has a train that you can ride on the upper level of the mall....it was a neat way to get around the mall...it's kind of expensive though for a short ride and the driver that we had was not the friendlies of characters....but, for one ride, Luke enjoyed it...
One day, we went to the Natural Science Center in Greensboro for a few hours....






And...one of our favorite short road trips includes trips to Barnes and Nobles....Luke loves the Thomas train set...in these pictures, you will also see him playing with these cute little books that are shaped like trucks, cars, and buses and have wheels on them so they roll. We ended up going home with two of these books - the fire truck and the bus. :)






I leave you with three videos of our road trips...

Videos #1 and #2 - Barnes and Noble

Video #3 - the train at the mall

Enjoy...

Because this is my last road trip and play date post of the summer, I must say this and I know that you mommies out there will agree....the ultimate play dates are Mommy and Baby play dates during some of those quiet moments at home....no friends around, no traveling far....just playing together in the comfort of your own home.

There is a book by Karen Kingsbury called, "Let's Go on a Mommy Date". If you don't have it, get it - I read it to Luke almost every night. Here's my favorite part...

Hey wait, you're here beside me now, is this our Mommy Date?

Never mind the other places. Here we are. Why wait?

One day we'll go to the park, the circus, farm, and zoo,

but for today let's cuddle with this book, just me and you.

See, time will take you far from here; you're growing way too fast.

All I want is Mommy time to make the moments last.

Something we'll remember so that come some far-off day,

you'll know how much I loved you 'cause we took the time to play.

Happy Mommy Dates to you all! Thanks for joining me and Luke on our dates this summer! :)

Toddy

More Fun at Home

As usual, Luke and I have a blast during our time at home. Here are some pictures....

This is Luke playing with his new bib during lunch time. Lunch time is one of the best parts of the day. Luke and I turn the TV off, the music off, and just talk to each other while we eat. So much fun....he's telling me something in this picture...

Sometimes when cooking dinner, Luke will help me sprinkle the "salt" and "pepper" - he loves doing this so much that I gave him an unopened spice bottle to play with. He walks around and "sprinkles" the spice on every toy he has...
Look how tan my little man is....in this picture, he's begging to play with the telephone...
Last week, Luke all of a sudden wanted to play in this black storage container that usually holds his balls....he likes to take all of the balls out, crawl inside with either his stuffed animals, or he will ask me to throw the balls inside to him.




This one is precious....while Luke napped, I ironed a few of his rompers and forgot to hang them up before he woke up. Well, when he woke up, he saw them hanging, went to get his play iron and started ironing them....what a good husband he will make one day...

Luke LOVES to drink from cups with straws....here he is drinking from my biscuitville cup while I unloaded the groceries....I have a video of him drinking it below...
Some cute pics of his personality...




Luke playing with his animal sound toy....he can identify almost every animal and sound on this toy....and he loves to pull the lever himself....
This is one of our favorite games - we match the animals in pairs....Luke is pretty good at it...we are learning the words, "same" and "different"...
This is Luke's "snake" - he's trying to get my feet...

I do not let Luke watch very much TV but I will let him watch Sesame Street and occasionally one of his baby Einstein videos....when I actually do let him watch TV, he is very attentive....see???
Luke playing in his wagon...

Luke playing with sticks and the slide...


And his wheel barrel....
Luke after just waking up from a nap....look at that sweet smile! This is another one of my favorite times during the day....hearing him say my name after waking up from his nap and going in to see his big smile!

And, here are some cute videos....

Video #1 - Luke handing me his paci after his nap - he is so good at this - he knows that it's time to give it up after he wakes up.

Video #2 - Luke chatting away after waking up from his nap. Listen closely - he's talking about how he remembers that daddy is at work....

Video #3 - Luke's efforts to get the straw back in the big drink so that he can enjoy it....

Thanks for visiting....my next post will include my last Play Dates and Road Trip post of the summer and then a reflection post on the best summer of my life! :) See you soon!

Toddy