Everything to Me

Those of you who read my blog often know that I often quote songs....God uses music to speak to me. Which...considering my absolutely NO MUSIC ability self, this is amazing.  I'm not a good singer and I do not play an instrument but I still love music....IF it's keeping my mind on the things of Jesus.  I listen to music in my car, at work, in the shower, at home when the kids and I are playing - every chance I get, I turn on what I call my "Jesus music." Well, not too long ago, I recalled the song by Avalon called "Everything to Me."  I remember hearing this song when I was a child but I had not heard it in a long time....the last time I heard it, I think my relationship with a church might have been everything to me but not my relationship with Jesus.  As a friend and I were talking about how much Jesus meant to us and how He was our hope everyday, she mentioned that song and I had to go listen to it. I played the song....heard just this first verse....and melted....

This song is so true!!! For so many years, Jesus was some distant person that I read about in a book...He wasn't real to me and I'm so very thankful that now, He's much more than history...He's my TODAY and TOMORROW. 

One Wednesday night a month, I have the absolute blessing of teaching and sharing God's Word with a room full of precious ladies - ranging from my age to retirement age.  The way that God has pieced us all together is amazing - our Wednesday bible study is not the picture that I every imagined but it's perfect because God CREATED it.  The details of life are always so much better when we let God have His Way.  :)  

Before each of these Wednesday night meetings, Landis takes the kids to my mother-in-laws house, usually about 45 minutes before all the ladies get here. I cherish this time....my house is quiet...it's just me and Jesus....so, I turn on my music....raise my hands to Jesus....sing, and thank Him for all that He has done for me and will do for me. The last two Wednesdays during this personal worship time, Jesus has spoken things to me that I want to share....about a month ago, as Jesus spoke to my heart....I found myself saying out loud, "Thank you Jesus for making Heaven more real to me."  When I said that, I stopped and asked myself, "Does this mean that I'm going to Heaven soon?"  And, the Spirit of Jesus quickly answered me with this, "No, you are not going to Heaven yet but Heaven has come down to you."  And....the tears began....Jesus was showing me that because I have been yoking with Him...because I have been pouring myself into getting to know Him better that I was beginning to reap those benefits of Heaven coming down to this world.  And, Jesus is so right....I am in a place right now where sometimes I am overwhelmed by Heaven's presence around me....everywhere that I go.  

In Luke 17:21, Jesus says, "You won't be able to say, 'Here it is!' or 'It's over there.' For the Kingdom of God is already among you."  I have read this scripture over and over but the other day, it became real to me....I (we, you) can experience Heaven right now when we grab hold of Jesus. I thank you Jesus that you are showing me Heaven!  

And....Jesus continued to speak last night....again, before the ladies arrived, I was standing in my kitchen, hands raised, praising Jesus, singing that song, "You are Everything to Me" and I began to call out these words....

Thank you Jesus....that you are everything to me....you are

-my righteousness with God 

-my friend and constant companion - you are always walking with me 

-my wisdom 

-my provider

-my fixer 

-my peace

-my rest 

-my healer 

and my JOY. 

And...all these things are heaven NOW to me.  

As the words came to me, I wrote them down....I never want to forget what Jesus speaks to my heart, which is one reason I take the time to blog.  Our strength in Jesus comes from testimonies that we have....in our weak moments, we pull strength from the times that we have allowed Jesus to fill us up with His Word and His Spirit...and, oh, how full I AM.  

This morning, I thank Jesus that I don't have to wait on eternal life with Him, I don't have to wait to experience Heaven...I'm experiencing it now....and, friends, you can to....just yoke up with Jesus....and He will show you the Kingdom...that's what He came to do.  

Jesus says, "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls."  (Matthew 11:29)

I have one of those days ahead of me where I will work from 7:30am to 8:00pm...these days only happen a few times a year and so many times I find myself dreading them BUT today, I will not...I appreciate Jesus' timing....He has reminded me that even on days that seem long, where my physical body and mind will be tired, that my Spirit can rest because Heaven is HERE, that I can find JOY in what the purpose of this day is....which is to let Jesus RISE up in me so others can see Him.  So...thank you Jesus for this beautiful day...I thank you that my day will be an amazing one....I thank you for the opportunity to organize the events that are happening in our school today and I thank you that many parents and students will be blessed with their time together this evening.  I thank you Jesus that you are my REST.  Oh, Jesus, I love you and I thank you for loving me.    

Have a blessed day, my friends...and, remember, the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand...go grab it...it's rightfully yours, IN Jesus. :) 

Toddy 

The Missing Puzzle Piece

Today, I ask you to join me as I take you along the sometimes rocky path of a Title I teacher....

As a Title I teacher, my job is directly dependent on funding....if a school doesn't receive the title I funding that is needed, title I positions are cut and there is always a chance that it's me.  

I worked at a Title I school in Thomasville (very close to my home) for 3 years as a reading specialist. I loved my job. I loved the staff. I trusted the leadership that I worked for.  I was looking forward to Luke walking through those doors as a Kindergartener. Matter of fact, Luke even attended a Kindergarten transition day at that school and had his screening there. Luke and I were prepared for a great start right next to our home....but, then, on the last workday of the school year, my principal came to let me know that my position had been cut, that I would no longer be able to teach in the full time reading specialist position at that school. I was heart broken! I felt lost - and my thoughts immediately went to Luke - where will he go to school?  Will we be able to go together like we have always planned?  Like any normal person would do when they have lost their job, I cried....and cried, and cried.  

Matter of fact, I was disappointed in myself later that I cried so much! :)  I had the Word of God in me and I had Jesus' Spirit residing with me, so I asked myself, why are you panicking?  Why are you so upset?  Even my husband reminded me that I needed to get a hold of my "emotions" (which is flesh) and walk in the Spirit so I could focus on what God had planned for the next phase of my life. 

So...I began thinking...yes, Landis was right.  God NEVER closes one door without having another door prepared for us.  Yeah - I know, I know - people say that all the time but how much do we really believe that?  I had to ask myself that - Natasha, do you really believe that God has another door open for you already?  And, I could confidently say, YES - I knew He did. So...I talked to Jesus - I asked Him to overwhelm me with peace, I asked Him to lead me through the open doors, and I asked Him to help me trust Him.  

Throughout the summer, I applied for jobs everywhere - mostly outside the county because early in the summer, the only jobs in the county were too far from home. In my heart, I didn't want to leave Davidson County schools. I've worked in this county for 14 years and love and trust the wonderful people who are apart of it.  And...thank goodness...just like the good Father He is, He knew I loved Davidson County, God knew that I didn't want to leave...so, He opened a door....

In mid July, I was offered a job as a reading specialist at a school only 15 minutes from home, working for a principal that I had worked with before (who I trusted and knew would be good to me).  But...here's the crazy part....I had also applied for a lead teacher position at this same school and I didn't want to back out of this interview. I went on to interview and was offered the lead teacher position at this same school. So...God didn't open one door but He opened two doors and I was able to make a choice.  What a blessing!  Such a blessing!  

After accepting my new position (back in school leadership, which I had taken myself out of years before), I worked hard to get prepared.  I saw my new room, I met some staff, and even attended several summer meetings with the administrative team at the new school.  During this transitional time, I still felt a little lost, I still missed my family from my old school, I still worried about whether Luke would feel comfortable at this school or not...I just wasn't settled on the inside yet.  

I continued to ask God to show me His purpose...to show me why I had to move AGAIN (this was going to be my 6th school in Davidson County - and that's a whole other blog!).  And...to be honest, I didn't hear any answers from God.  I just knew in my Spirit that I had to trust Him. That's what His Word says....Jesus reminds us in Matthew 11:29-30, "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS."  

I knew Jesus wanted me to lean on Him for rest but I will be honest...I didn't do that right away.  Matter of fact, throughout the end of the summer and in to the first workdays, I still struggled with this change.  I remember going home after the first required workday and crying - from pure exhaustion.  It's difficult to sit in a big room with 50 new faces knowing that your friends are hugging and greeting each other at the other school.  It feels like you are at someone's else's family reunion....it's tough.  

But...I'm a fighter and Jesus is IN me and I knew He had work to do.  So...as you may have read in my other blogs....I tried to work myself to death to find the purpose in this new school.  I tried to take over and do EVERYTHING without relying on Jesus' strength and because of that, I continued to have a difficult time adjusting during the first nine weeks. 

Now, I should say...Luke on the other hand did fabulous. God was looking after him and blessed him with the perfect teacher for his personality. He loved the new school from day one and is excelling!  I will be forever grateful for God's direction in Luke's path to that perfect chair in that Kindergarten classroom.  

But...now back to me....:( 

After attempting to work myself to death, I finally lost it and cried out to Jesus and was reminded again by Him to REST.  So...in the past few months, I've worked hard to REST...that sounds crazy, doesn't it...you have to work hard to REST...what?!? Let me explain....

When I get ready to become stressed out about something, instead of playing through all the what ifs and worries in my mind, I STOP, talk to Jesus, turn it over to Him, and then I continue to move forward in the task but I trust Jesus to take care of the pieces. I ask Him to help me piece things together. I ask Him to give me wisdom to work smarter - not harder.  I am amazed sometimes at the things that I think of ahead of time that saves me time later.  This isn't because I'm some great time manager or super smart person - it's because Jesus is talking to me - all the time - He's doing my job WITH me and He never fails! Did you hear that?  Jesus never fails! So...maybe I should switch that...I have been choosing to let Jesus lead as I work with Him and that is what is making the difference. 

Since this change in thinking, I have been absolutely amazed at how things have come together at school.  I sit down and plan with my administrative team once a week at my school and we have constant discussions and make strategic plans about how to grow pockets of students and staff. We are always thinking about ways to make our school better for the sake of the students.  Sometimes these discussions bring up areas that we know we need to work on but we also know we can't fix without time and other people cooperating.  So, we do what we can and then we wait....

And....I take it one step further (and I know my school leaders do too)....we pray about each situation.  I ask Jesus to go forth through the Holy Spirit and help us in each situation. I ask Jesus to give everyone wisdom in how they communicate with each other and I ask Jesus to help us treat each other and our students like He would treat us - with love and compassion - and I aim to let Jesus' flow through me in every situation..  

Well, I'm here to tell you that God has answered our prayers.  God is working miracles in our school building. Yesterday, I had the absolute pleasure of sitting with a grade level that has grown tremendously in their team discussions and planning this year. As I sat and watched them work together, my heart filled up with joy and peace....yes, THAT peace that I've been searching for all year.  

You see there are so many awesome things going on in our school - so, so many - but when you see a team GROW...when you know where they started at the beginning of the year and now you see where they are....it's just awesome and I am so very proud of each one of them!  

And...I am so thankful that God is allowing me to be a part of a school where the staff is always aiming to grow....where the staff has welcomed me...and has pulled me into their family.  Yesterday, sitting in that grade level meeting....I felt like part of the family and I was proud to be a part of it! The missing piece of the puzzle that I've been waiting on....IT ARRIVED...I saw it!  :)  

So...I sit here this morning writing this blog for this reason (sorry, it took me so long to get here)....

I know that sometimes when one door closes in our lives, we don't know where to turn and we wonder what God has planned for us.  I also know from this experience that it doesn't matter how "close" you are to God...how much you read your Bible...how much you spend time in prayer....you will still face these types of situations in your life.  You will still get shaken. I also know that even if you think you are prepared for the shaking part that you might end up getting more rattled than you thought.  I know I did. 

But, I also learned this...when you get shaken, when you don't understand, when you can't see your purpose....dig deeper into God's Word and His Spirit...work hard to REST....by that I mean...work on turning EVERY detail over to Jesus....then, do your part (in the natural world) but also pray (and do your part in the spirit world) and before you know it....everything will fall into place.  You will begin to feel peace...you will begin to see purpose. 

I thank Jesus this morning for placing me at my current school.  I thank Jesus for every staff member there that has laughed with me, cried with me, helped me, hugged me, and put up with me.  :)  It took several months, but I can now SEE my purpose in that building and I have such a PEACE.  

I think of the words in this song by Casting Crowns....

"Just Be Held" 

Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on

And when you're tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There's freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your worlds not falling apart, its falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm
You'll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You'll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted
In time, you'll understand
I'm painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands

Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you'll find Me
And where you are, I'll hold your heart
I'll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who wont let go

Friend....when it appears that your world is falling apart....just remember, its really just falling into place.  Not a tear is wasted - God is working on His Plan for YOU - join with Him and then REST.  

Love, 

Toddy 

The Hallway

In my house, Luke and Kate's bedroom is on the back side of the house and there is a hallway that you must go down to get to Luke's room.  Neither one of my kids will go down this hallway if the light isn't on BUT if I go in front of them and turn on the light, they skip right down the hall.

As I read in Matthew the other day, I read this in verse 28, Jesus said, "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."

I began to think again about how my kids COME TO ME when they need to get down that hallway because they know that I will be able to help them. And that made me think of this...

How many "dark hallways" do we try to approach all by ourselves?  How many situations, negative reports, challenges, fears do we face all by ourselves?  We all face dark hallways in our lives....but with each hallway we face, we have a choice...do we go through the hallway in darkness or do we turn on the light?  You see when the hall remains dark, we end up walking slowly through the hallway, scared that we will stumble on something, unsure of what our next step will hold, feeling our way around trying to get to our destination. But, if we would simply turn on the light, we would clearly see all the obstacles in our way, we would know how to get around them, and then we would arrive at our destination peacefully and without fear.  This seems so simple, right?  So...let's apply this common sense natural principle to our spiritual lives....

Who is the light? Who will light up the dark hallways that we face?  Jesus tells us in the verse we just read...it is Him.  Jesus says - COME TO ME.  Jesus is reminding us to get behind Him as He becomes our light down every dark hallway that we walk.  If Jesus goes first, we won't trip, we won't have fear, we won't wonder aimlessly for direction - we will make it to the other side of the hallway stronger and at peace.

So...how do we do this?  How do we allow Jesus to go in front of us at all times?  Jesus answers that in the next verse of Matthew - Chapter 11.  In verse 29, Jesus says, "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

It's so comforting to hear these words.  Jesus reveals His character to us in this verse.  I can picture Jesus' - gently and peacefully taking my hand and walking me through every hallway and situation that I face.  What a comfort!  Jesus doesn't want us to get out of breath - stressed out - and having to RUN to the other end of the hallway. He tells us to stay with Him and we will REST even as we face situations that naturally could seem "dark."

So...how do we yoke up with Jesus?  When you look up "yoke" in the Greek, it means a coupling, servitude, a connection.  This tells us that we have to couple ourselves with Jesus' Spirit and His Word.  We have to make a daily effort to spend time with Jesus to connect with His Spirit and fill our mind with His Words.  Jesus is always IN us if we have asked Him and received salvation but when we make the consistent effort to talk with Him, read with Him, listen to Him, then we become more aware of His presence.  I promise that when you begin to treat Jesus as a best friend that walks beside of you constantly - everywhere you go - you take Him with you in every situation you face - as a constant companion - then, you will begin to feel His presence more. You will begin to recognize His rest that He is providing you and you will have more knowledge about how to handle situations than ever before.

When you spend time with Jesus and read His Word, you begin to know the will of God for all situations.  Every situation is like a dark hallway when you are fishing around for what "might" be God's Will, but when you know God's Will, the light is on and you follow that light.

Psalm 119:105 says, "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."

Turning this light on, takes our action.  We must begin filling our minds and hearts with God's Will BEFORE we face the dark hallways - so that the dark hallway is not a problem for us but becomes a testimony of God's glory.

My best understanding of God's Word and Will is always testimonies that I have been a part of in my life that has allowed me to see God's Word come to life and work as He promises.  I know that those of you who have read my blog for awhile know that my son was "diagnosed" with tree nut allergies when he was only two.  When my husband (Landis) and I heard this diagnosis, it was a dark hallway for us.  We were torn up by the fact that Luke would have to constantly live in fear of what he ate and carry around an epi-pen "just in case."  Landis and I had a choice - we could stumble through this dark hallway with Luke and "hope" that he never got a hold of a tree nut that would hurt him.  We could educate him on what not to eat.  That's what the allergist told us to do.  BUT...NO...Landis and I knew God's Word, we knew God's Will, and we knew that God didn't put foods here on this Earth to be a weapon against our little boy.  So...we turned the light on....we reminded Luke of God's Word...that His allergies had been taken to the cross when Jesus was beaten.  We quit going to the allergist. We quit carrying epi-pens. We allowed Luke to eat whatever he wanted and we thanked Jesus for His manifestation in Luke's body as he tried many, many foods that the allergist told him he was allergic to.  Our family made it to the other side of that dark hallway - we didn't stumble through it, not knowing where to go. We yoked with Jesus - let Him lead the way - and at the end of the hallway, we found a healthy six year old who eats whatever he wants.

As Luke gets older and his years of allergy testing is a distant memory, I remind him of God's work in his life.  Matter of fact, as I read these verses in Matthew the other day and I began to hear the Holy Spirit forming this blog, Luke woke up and came up his dark hallway all by himself.  When Luke turned the corner of the hallway, I smiled, pulled him on my lap, and shared these verses in Matthew with him and told him all about how Jesus has been the light in this family, and especially in his little body.  Luke listened...he took it all in and I thank Jesus for that opportunity to share our testimony with him.  Luke will continue to face dark hallways in his life but my prayer is that he always remembers to go to Jesus for help and rest in each hallway.

Friends...you may or may not be in a dark hallway or approaching a dark hallway right now.  If you are not facing any dark situations, be thankful for this season and get to know Jesus personally and get in the Word of God and learn His Will so you will be prepared if a season of dark hallways comes.  If you are IN a dark hallway or approaching one, turn on the light - turn to Jesus - spend time with His Spirit - read His Word so that your path is lit and you make it to the other side of the hallway with peace - not fear - remember, yoke (couple, connect) with Jesus to find the rest you need.

Love,
Toddy

Here's my happy healthy Luke....eating whatever he wants...

The power in "Thank You"

God's talking this morning so I'm writing....

I'm so very blessed to work for a great "boss" - she's kind, she's a hard worker, she's a good listener, and most importantly, she's confident in her staff and trusts us to do what we know is right for children everyday.  My boss' name is Lydia.  She and I plan school wide events and tasks constantly.  We have to work together to divide up the daily tasks that need to be done.  As we divide the work and we decide what parts I will take care of, Lydia always says "Thank you" to me.  My "to do" list that we have just discussed is still sitting there - incomplete - but Lydia still says, "Thank you."  Throughout this entire year, she has done that and not until this morning did I realize how awesome this is and how spiritually profound it is.

You see....when Lydia says "Thank you" to me for a task that has not yet been completed, she is telling me that she trusts me, that she is confident that I am going to accomplish what she has requested, she is not doubting me but is believing in me for the final product.

So, I think of this scripture...

"Truly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, Be taken up and cast into the sea, and does not doubt in his heart, but believes (trusts and is confident) that what he says is going to happen, it will be granted to him." (Mark 11:23-24)

Jesus is telling us in this scripture that we can be confident in Him BEFORE we see the mountain moved. We can go ahead and say "Thank you" to Jesus for moving that mountain because we believe and trust in Him to grant our request.

God tells us to pray with thanksgiving - "I will praise God's name in song and glorify Him with thanksgiving." (Psalm 69:30)

God wants us to be so confident that He hears us and will answer our prayer that we say "Thank you" BEFORE we see the final product.  We boldly proclaim the request as DONE with the simple words - "Thank you."

Jesus has already accomplished all that we ever need - with Jesus' death and resurrection' - all the power we ever need was released onto this Earth and is now IN us when we have been baptized in Jesus.  It is our responsibility to cooperate with God and release that power.

In John Chapter 11 when Lazarus is still dead in the tomb - his family is mourning and even reminds Jesus that Lazarus may stink because he has been in the tomb for four days, Jesus calls out to His Father, "Father, I thank you that you have heard Me. I knew that You always hear Me..."

What an example!  BEFORE Jesus saw Lazarus move - Lazarus was still lying there lifeless, Jesus thanked His Father and THEN the power of the living God manifested and Jesus commanded Lazarus back to life.  What a miracle!  Jesus never doubted His Father or the power He had in Him. He knew His Father's Will was for Lazarus to live and Jesus cooperated with that Will and that power and brought life to the situation.

Oh, Jesus...help us to be that confident in YOU....help us to say "Thank you" BEFORE we see the power manifest or BEFORE we see the circumstances change.

As you read...I can hear some of you wondering/thinking....I just don't have this confidence in my prayers....Where do I get this confidence in Jesus?  How can I be confident enough to say "Thank you" for something I can't see?

Here's some encouragement...
Read God's Word constantly - daily!  Meditate on it - ask the Holy Spirit to reveal more and more of God's Will through His Word.  You see...my boss and I worked together at another school before our current one. We had the blessed opportunity to get to know each other and each other's ways.  Lydia knows how I operate and how I am able to get things accomplished so this helps her to confidently say "Thank you" knowing that a task will be completed because it always has been in the past.  When we read God's Word and we learn God's Will and His Ways, we will become more confident in WHO HE IS and what He desires for us and for our situations.  Then, when we need God's power for a situation, we remind Him of what His Word says and then we say "Thank you" as we trust in Him.

We always remember that God's Word never changes, His Will remains the same today as it did when Jesus walked this Earth - God's will is still complete healing, deliverance, and is always to work for our good - just as an Earthly Father would do for his own children - God wants to do for us.

So...friends, I encourage you...if you are facing a situation that needs healing, deliverance, or revelation...remind God of His Word, then call out loud, "Thank you Jesus....Thank you Jesus....Thank you Jesus....that YOUR will is already done" and then watch Jesus' power manifest...He will...oh, He will...

"This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His Will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him." (John 5:14-15)

And...before I go...let me give a praise report... there are so many, many times that I've seen the power of saying "Thank you..." to Jesus manifest but this morning I want to tell Him "Thank you for my healing...." I am never sick but for over a month, I have struggled with sinus junk and an aggravating cough. I know Jesus took that mess to the cross so for the past month I've coughed and then said "Thank you Jesus that I am well" and then I lost my hearing in my right ear and I said, "Thank you Jesus that I am well!" and then I lost my voice and I said "Thank you Jesus that I am well!" and then I coughed some more and I said "Thank you Jesus that I am well!"  Some people said...go to the doctor...I said, "I've been to Jesus and that's all the healing I need!"  And, now, just in the last few days...that healing that I've been saying "Thank you" for...it's officially here.  The cough is gone, I can hear, and I can talk! Praise Jesus!  Jesus is alive, my friends!!!  He's so alive!  :) Just trust Him....

Love,
Toddy

We are NOT powerless - Part 2!

I've been talking to the Lord about strengthening my boldness in praying WITH people and not just FOR them. I wrote a blog earlier in the week called "We are not powerless!" And, then, as I stood in my morning duty post at school, the Holy Spirit continued to talk with me....this is what I heard...the reason we (the Church) miss out on using the power that we have inside of us - Jesus' power - is because we lack confidence in where that power comes from. During Jesus ministry on Earth, He walked with full confidence in His Father and His Father's power to heal, deliver, and reveal the kingdom of God. Jesus was hearing His Father all the time.

At school, we teach our students to "play a movie or mental image in their mind" as they read passages that have no visuals or pictures. Using this same concept spiritually, I am asking the Lord to help me visualize Jesus WITH me (walking step by step with me every situation and person I face) everyday. There are many times that I can feel His presence around me but even in the times when I can't "feel" Jesus - He is still IN me and is still just as powerful as He was the days He walked this Earth. So...I pray, Jesus, help me to SEE you…help me see Your hands WITH mine (power flowing through them) with each person I pray WITH….and, I pray, Jesus, help me to SEE you walking side by side WITH me as I obey and accomplish every good work you have prepared for me to do.  Oh…what joy to know that the King of Kings is always with us!  What peace floods my soul! 

We are not powerless!

In this season, I'm reaching out to Jesus to lead me to a stronger prayer life.  I believe in prayer...I always have...I believe that prayer is more than just calling out our needs to the Father but that prayer is a time of communication with our Father - the LIVING God - who will answer us if we are listening.

I think about my kids and how much I communicate with them. They tell me their needs and they trust that I will do what I can to fulfill those needs. They always share their thoughts and feelings with me and I'm here to listen and help them process their thinking.  And...often times they tell me their wants and I'm here to supply that "want" or explain to them why that "want" isn't the right thing for them at the time.  Our heavenly Father will do the same thing if we call out to Him in faith and listen closely for our answers.

I've been studying Exodus and I am so amazed by the relationship that Moses and God had.  In the time before Jesus (when God saw sin and not his son), Moses found favor in God's sight because Moses devoted every ounce of his being to serving the Lord.  God honored this by communicating with him as a friend.  Moses was able to intercede and ultimately save the Israelites because he went to the Father on their behalf.  Exodus 32:31-32 says, "And Moses returned unto the Lord, and said, Oh, this people have sinned a great sin, and have made them gods of gold.  Yet now, if thou wilt forgive their sin, and if not, blot me, I pray thee, out of thy book which thou hast written."  What a loving, unselfish prayer and act of kindness that the Israelites probably didn't even know took place!

As I thought about this unselfish act of Moses, I began to think about my own prayer life and how often I intercede and pray for others.  I began to ask God to show me how I can be more unselfish when I pray.  Yes, I tell people I will pray for them and I always do. If I tell someone I will pray for them, I usually talk to the Lord about their situation as soon as I can and then I often times remind God of His Word for their situation when I'm in my secret place in the mornings with the Lord. But, I still felt like there was one piece I was missing.

Yes, I know that Jesus said in Matthew 6:6, "But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you."

I will always hold these words dear to my heart and I will continue to talk to the Lord in my secret place.  But...in the last month, I've felt the Lord nudging me to be more bold about my praying WITH people outside of this secret place too.

I've been in so many situations where people pour out their heart to me and tell me of needs they have or attacks from the enemy that they are facing and I will look at them and say, "I will pray for you."  Yes, I often share with them what the Word of God says about their situation but then I stop there and take their request to the Lord during my quiet time.  One day, I began to think...what did Jesus do when people came to Him in bondage, when they came to Him in distress, hurting (physically and mentally), when they came to Him in fear....Jesus didn't share a Word or two, say I will pray for you, and then leave them in their mess.  He prayed WITH those people - right there at that moment.

If Jesus is our example of how we should live our daily lives and His same power is within us, I had to ask myself...why I haven't I been doing the same thing?

So....I asked the Holy Spirit to help me...I asked Him to cleanse me of my self...to help me get my fear of what others would think out of my mind and to replace that fear with boldness and power.  And...He did.

During the last month, I've had friends and colleagues share life situations with me such as these...
-a neighbor had a son that was getting ready to go through open heart surgery
-a colleague of mine received a terrible report from her daughter's doctor about something he claimed could be a life long problem
-a colleague was in a low spot emotionally - tired, worn out
-a friend of mine had tried for years to conceive a second child and was very discouraged

For most of these situations, the Lord set me up beautifully to not just pray for these people but I was able to completely drop what I was doing and I prayed (through the power of the Holy Spirit) WITH these sweet people.  As I prayed, I could feel the power of the Holy Spirit giving me God's Word to speak over them.  I began to see that the reason we pray WITH people is so they can hear the Holy Spirit speak on their behalf for them.  When we pray WITH people, they are hearing God Himself reach out to them and share His Will for that situation.  These distressed people HEAR hope, they hear Words that they can now stand on and have faith in when the enemy comes with doubt.

Yes, so often, tears would run down both of our faces...yes, so often, the tiny thought would come at the back of my mind..."Do they think I'm crazy now?"  But...then, so quickly...a peace beyond what I can describe would come over me that I recognized as a hug from Jesus for being obedient and unselfish.

Yes, I still reminded God of His Word and called out every name of the people I prayed with to the Lord in my secret place but I believe the power against the enemy in these situations came from the agreement that took place when we prayed together.

And, now...listen to these praise reports...this is what putting God's Word with faith in the power of the name of Jesus does....
-my neighbor's son came through his open heart surgery beautifully - he was home from the hospital in 5 days and I've already seen him spending time in his backyard
-that colleague of mine that received the negative report about her daughter went back for a recheck over Christmas break and her daughter's blood count has improved drastically and her daughter is able to return to her normal activities (like gymnastics, dance, the things she loves)
-that friend of mine who couldn't get pregnant - she's due in August
-and that colleague who was so down and depressed, she greets me in the hallway everyday with a huge smile - her husband even lost his job AFTER we prayed, she didn't panic but trusted the Lord and he started his new job last week

Yesterday, driving home from work, I was thinking back over all of these praise reports and I got excited!!! Super excited!! I could feel the presence of the Lord overwhelm me in my car!  Our Father is good, so good!! I love how He showed His love to each of these people and honored His Word - like He always does!

As I prayed in my car yesterday afternoon, these thoughts rolled through my head...
We are not powerless! We have the power of Jesus inside of us! We don't have to beg and plea in prayer but we can call out God's Word in the name of Jesus and command our mountains to move.  These praise reports that I have been so blessed to share are examples of mountains that were in their lives and we (through Jesus' name) told the mountains to move and they moved.  It's time for the church to get out of the pews and cooperate with Jesus who is IN us and change lives - it's time to heal, deliver and meet REAL needs right now! The same power that Jesus had on Earth is in us - let's utilize it for others!

I pray that YOU operate as Jesus did RIGHT WHERE you are TODAY!  Don't just pray for others - pray WITH them!

Love,
Toddy

Like A Child - REST

Merry Christmas!!!  It's been 10 months since I blogged and I sure do miss it. I'm always hesitant to blog because I never want my posts to be self-centered and bring attention to me. I have asked the Lord to help me use this blog as a testimony to Jesus and His power and manifestation in our lives.

Obviously, we are in the middle of the Christmas season - my favorite time of the year!  I have always loved Christmas but the meaning of Christmas and it's "specialness" to me has changed through the years.  I used to get excited about Christmas because I was looking forward to getting that long awaited gift, or I looked forward to Christmas because I enjoyed decorating my house and reading Christmas novels.  When I had children, Christmas was exciting because I looked forward to decorating with them, participating in all the Christmas activities, and then, of course, watching their excitement as they opened their presents on Christmas morning.  All of these things are still a lot of fun but the meaning of Christmas is no longer these "things" to me...Christmas has become about a "person" to me and His name is Jesus.

You see three years ago, the enemy attacked me with extreme anxiety and suffocating fear.  For about 2 years, I walked around my daily life in dread of something bad happening to me, my family, or this country.  It's difficult to describe what was going on in my mind.  I remember sitting on my back porch one beautiful Sunday morning, watching Luke playing in the leaves in our backyard - it was a moment that I should have cherished because life was so good - I was so blessed but...I remember sitting there thinking about how the world could end tomorrow...I remember begging God not to let something hurt my baby boy. I didn't know then but I know now...the devil had infiltrated my mind with fear and it had to be replaced.  This feeling of fear seemed to peek around Thanksgiving time and as the Christmas season picked up, I felt more and more sad and dreadful.  No one around me knew it...I hid it well and even turned to alcohol to cover it up.

By the time the week of Christmas got here, I was miserable...my mind was racing 100 miles an hour all the time and it was not racing on the good things.  I thank Jesus that I had been continuing to go to Church during this dark time - I was hearing God's Word and I was studying God's Word on my own. I was doing all that I knew to do and I was still struggling with fear.  My pastor had been teaching on the importance of being filled with the Holy Spirit and he had taught us the difference in being saved and the filling of the Holy Spirit.  I knew that I wasn't filled with the Holy Spirit but I was scared of what would happen if I asked Jesus to baptize me in Him. Then, the Sunday before Christmas, my pastor, through the power of the Holy Spirit, led an amazing service - none like I have seen or been a part of before.  He began the service by reading from the Bible and then he stopped and told us that he could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit on Him and in that place.  He reminded us that the first Christmas was full of JOY and PEACE - both of which I was NOT experiencing in my life at the time.  He then told us that Jesus wanted to release JOY and PEACE in that room on that day and he invited us to come and be prayed for.  One by one people came to him, he laid their hands on them, and JOY and PEACE filled their bodies.  Some people laughed out loud, some people cried happy tears, some people began dancing, and some people sang.  I could feel the joy in the room and it was unbelievable!  There was something in my body and in my mind that knew I just had to go experience this JOY for myself!  

During the service before this one, I requested prayer from a friend who prayed for me (with her hands upon me) that Jesus fill me with the Holy Spirit.  I didn't realize at that moment that her prayer was answered but on this joyous Sunday before Christmas, my prayer was confirmed with signs.  As I felt the energy and abundance of peace and joy fill our sanctuary, I stepped out into the aisle and walked to my preacher.  I remember saying..."I don't want to miss this experience....and I need to be filled..."  My pastor laid his hands on me and prayed with me and it's hard to put into words what happened...I could feel every ounce of fear, anxiety, dread, and misery leave my body and be replaced with an overwhelming amount of joy, peace, wholeness, happiness, all the good thoughts and feelings that I had longed for...this could only happen through the power of the Holy Spirit taking over my flesh and making me WHOLE in my MIND and in my body.  The devil had no room anywhere in my body anymore.  PRAISE JESUS!

That Christmas - the Christmas of 2012 was the most amazing Christmas I've ever had.  I was happy, joyful, and at peace. God continued to confirm my baptism in the Holy Spirit as I began praying in tongues and as I received revelation from His Word that I never had before.  The fear was gone and Jesus was home!!!

So...now, today, this year and every year, Christmas means Jesus to me - it means JOY, it means PEACE, it means sharing what Jesus has done in my life with others.  Because we wanted Christmas to be focused on Jesus, our family made some changes....we talked to Luke about the truth of Santa  Claus and we have made an effort not to keep ourselves so BUSY during the Christmas season. We read Luke and Kate the story of Jesus' birth straight from the Bible (not a children's book) and we take every chance we get to talk with them about how the Christmas "stuff" that we see is related to Jesus (example: we put lights on the tree because Jesus is the light of our world.)  I'm not saying that we are perfect and that we do everything right - but we do make the effort to keep Christmas focused on Jesus - the REAL reason for this season.  It is so sad that this season is commercialized so much and that children can tell you all about the "realness" of Santa and know so much about him but, in reality, he is a lie but most children don't know Jesus. Oh, Jesus, help us to get refocused on you!

One way that I celebrate Jesus during every Christmas season is I take the time to jot down all the ways that I've seen Jesus manifest in my life throughout the year. As I add and add to the list, I am reminded of how I can't live without Jesus and I become overwhelmingly thankful for that first Christmas night.

I'm not going to share all these testimonies on this blog today but I do want to tell you about one....

You know I just wrote about how I was filled with the Holy Spirit years ago and how now He is able to take control of my flesh when I allow Him and sometimes when I don't expect Him, which is so comforting.  Well...a few weeks ago, I experienced one of those miraculous moments. Hang with me as I share....

This year, I took on a new job as a lead teacher at a different school. So, I started a NEW position at another different school - this is the 6th time that I've changed schools in my career. This job also meant that I would once again be leading a group of educators - which I love but had stepped away from because it was taking time away from my family.

Well, I guess God wanted me back in school leadership because He removed me from my other job and placed me in this one.  I knew I had to trust Him and do all that I could to fulfill His will with a positive attitude and diligence.  The first three months of school I worked myself crazy - I have been working on the weekends, doing work as early as 4:00am, staying later in the afternoons than I would like - I was tired!!! Just plain tired!!!

So...one morning, I threw MY hands up, literally, and I told Jesus....I can't do this anymore!!! I'm tired - I need help!!!  What happened next was a miracle....my body melted, I closed my eyes, and just cried out to Jesus and I began to feel my body rock (like someone was holding me in a rocking chair)....it was amazing!!!  I felt peace overwhelm me - that same peace that I felt on that Christmas 3 years ago. I cried happy tears, I praised Jesus and in the midst of my praise, I heard the words of one of my favorite songs...

I'm coming to this place
Tired and far away
I'm longing for some peace
To help me through this day
So here's my life Lord, here's my plea

I want to see your face
Feel your warm embrace
And lay here like a child
In your loving arms
Where I'm safe from harm
And the sorrow fades away

There's healing in your name
So I cry out to you
Forgiveness is your way
Won't you see my through
So here's my life Lord, here's my plea

I want to see your face
Feel your warm embrace
And lay here like a child
In your loving arms
Where I'm safe from harm

 Crystal Lewis - Like A Child Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

At that moment, I knew exactly what Jesus was telling me...He was reminding me to REST...like a child lying in His Father's arms....just rest....

So...I did...I rested in the arms of Jesus as He rocked me...and as He rocked me, my mind was once again filled with the right things....Jesus began setting my priorities straight....He lovingly took away my stress and replaced it with trust!! He reminded me to take one day at a time....to put Him first and the rest would fall into place.  And, you know what?  I've made an effort to thank Jesus for His rest every morning...I've put work to the side as much as possible outside of school and trusted the Lord that I would get it done during the school day. And, amazingly, I walked out the door on Friday with just a small, few things to take care of this weekend.  Thank you Jesus!  We serve a God who cares about every detail of our lives - every single one!!! :)   Don't forget that during the hustle and bustle of this Christmas season....

I write all of this today for several reasons....
(1) to encourage you to REST during this Christmas season....take some time to sit down with your family, read the Christmas story straight from the Bible and then talk as a family about how you have seen Jesus manifest in your lives this year
(2) put JESUS first....not work, not shopping....just sit by your tree, look at those beautiful LIGHTS, and praise Him...for without Jesus, there would be no LIGHT, no hope...there would be no JOY and no PEACE
(3) to remind you of the importance of being filled with the Holy Spirit...if you have asked Jesus to become one with your Spirit and you have accepted Him as your savior but you have never asked Jesus to baptize you with the Holy Spirit, I invite you to take that step

"For to us a Child is born, to us a Son is given: and the government shall be upon His shoulder, and His name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9:6

Jesus is no longer in that manger....He is ALIVE and ACTIVE in Earth today...I pray that He becomes a friend, a deliverer, and a healer to you PERSONALLY today!

Merry Christmas friends!!!

Love,
Toddy