Redemption

Well, to be honest....I'm not quite sure where to begin or where this blog will lead.  I'm  praying to let the Lord take over and do with my thoughts what He wishes....

As most of you know, I began to get sick last Friday.  I ended up struggling through the flu and was not back to normal until late on Monday.  Amazingly, after praying Friday to be healed, I had no fever on Saturday and was able to serve the Lord in two situations that He laid on my heart.  Almost immediately after I finished that work for the Lord, I became sick again and this time, I was sick to the point that I was stuck in bed for almost 2 days - it was terrible!

As I lay in bed, praying for healing, the Lord did just that - He healed me but, this time, He didn't physically heal my body from the fever or aches and pains of the flu, He began a healing process in me that I never saw coming.  The Lord began to heal my mind and my Spirit. He began to cleanse me and, let me tell you, this cleansing was painful.  For some reason, as I prayed, I felt a distance between me and God that I couldn't explain.  It was awful!  I missed the Lord and became very frustrated that I didn't feel His presence like I usually do.  At church on Sunday, Pete and Jane prayed over me - they prayed that I would receive and recognize the power of the Holy Spirit and that I would be able to pray in the Spirit to accomplish what the Lord needed me to accomplish. I have made many attempts to communicate with God through praying in the Spirit and I can do it, but it's like a child...I want to get better. Well, after Pete and Jane prayed with me, I began to be more proficient in my praying - I began to feel clear in my heart after praying - I began to feel like I was accomplishing something.

On Monday night, Luke began to cough. It was a terrible cough - it sounded like a bark. I knew that wasn't good so I prayed over him (in the Spirit) for hours - I mean hours. The Devil sent all kinds of thoughts to my mind - "He's going to get pneumonia. This cough is going to put him in the hospital." It was terrible.  I spent all night praying and rebuking thoughts from my own mind.  Again, the Lord was faithful and by Tuesday morning, Luke's cough was mild, and even though Luke was diagnosed with the flu later that day, his cough stayed minimal and his fever never got above 100.  That was not by accident - that was the intervention of God sparing our little boy.

After praying all night on Monday, thoughts came to my mind like crazy on Tuesday....thoughts that I didn't want to hear.  The Lord began dealing with me about a specific sin that I did against a friend 13 years ago. Yes, 13 years ago, I secretly hurt a friend and had never told her about it.  This friend that I hurt is my sweet sister in Christ, Lindsey.  God brought to my attention that, yes, I had repented to Him about the way that I hurt Lindsey but that it was now my responsibility to repent to her.  When this thought came into my Spirit, I tried to make it leave. I begged the Lord to not make me do this - I didn't want to hurt Lindsey and I didn't want to hurt the friendship that we have developed so strongly over the last few months.  I battled this thought for days....begging and crying and pleading with the Lord to just let me by with repenting to Him but....God wasn't having it my way....He wanted it done His way so I obeyed....

The Lord promised me that He had prepared Lindsey's heart for what I was going to tell her.  He promised me that this example of redemption and forgiveness was going to bring Him glory.  My God has never failed me yet so I knew I had to trust Him and do as He said.  So....yesterday morning, I emailed Lindsey with my thoughts and asked her to meet me after school.  In a small town coffee shop, I confessed this horrible, awful, hurtful sin that happened 13 years ago to my sweet, God loving, sister in Christ and you know what?  She forgave me - right then, right there, without hesitation! It was awesome!  Her forgiveness freed me from the chains of guilt.  You see earlier in the week the Lord brought these words to my mind, "It is finished." I struggled with what in the world that could mean for days but yesterday, I got the revelation of what the Lord was telling me.  Confessing that sin to Lindsey was nailing that sin to the cross - that sin was now finished!  I could be FREED from that guilt!  Gang - I can't describe how awesome the power of the Lord is and how awesome experiencing that redemption has been.  This powerful story would not have been possible if Lindsey would not have extended the heart of Jesus - the heart of true forgiveness and I will forever be thankful for her for that.  Lindsey will and probably already has received a reward for her obedience.  I love you so much, Lindsey! Thank you, thank you!

The Lord is continuing to take me along a journey of cleansing my soul - cleansing my Spirit. There have been a few other sins that the Lord has asked me to repent for directly to the people whom they affected and I have obeyed with each one.  And...each time, I have been freed even more.

This morning, Lindsey texted me with this scripture..."Now the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will personally restore, establish, strengthen, and support you after you have suffered a little."  (1 Peter 5:10)

You see...I suffered through this repentance....telling people you have hurt them and apologizing is HARD, very HARD but the Lord used each situation to bring glory to Him and to show me how awesome His grace and mercy really are.  You see....God is showing me who He is....my relationship with Jesus is growing....I feel closer and closer to Him with each step of obedience....am I where I need to be? NO WAY! However, I trust the Lord and where He is taking me and together, we are going to accomplish our purpose.

Gang - God is so good and He loves us so much - no matter what terrible, horrible things we have done. He wants us to obey Him because He loves us and He knows that when we obey Him, we will be fulfilled and will receive joy beyond our understanding. He doesn't beat us up just because He can - he disciplines us at times because He loves us and He wants us to grow closer to Him and to trust Him. I have never seen this until the last few days. I have been saved for years but my relationship with Jesus has never been where it should be.  I'm just getting a taste of His love through a PERSONAL relationship and oh me....it's so awesome....so totally awesome!  I can't wait for the Lord to use me to share Jesus' love with others.  There's nothing like it, gang, nothing like it.

I'm so thankful that Jesus lives in me....that I have access to His power, His love, His feelings, His thoughts, and His wisdom anytime I want it.  When you have that, you live a rich, rich life - whether the world thinks you are rich or not - it doesn't matter - I know....I am rich beyond measure...thank you, Lord!

Enjoy this awesome snow - it's going to be gone soon!

Love you all,
Toddy

Let me say this before I go...I don't think I'm quite finished until I say it....God wants all of you to know that no sin is too big for Him to take away - NO SIN!  And...at the same time...no wrong doing is unforgivable....the mercy that we have received through Jesus' death and resurrection for our sins is the same mercy that we should extend to others.  Both unrepented sin as well as unwillingness to forgive can keep us from experiencing true freedom in Jesus! Remember....God loves you....he wants you free!  I am so thankful to be free this morning. Love you gang - thank you for reading!