No Stealing My Joy!

I'm in a season of my life that should bring JOY every minute of everyday - my little family is soon to grow as we add our perfect baby girl to our house and our hearts - as of tomorrow, we will be the proud owners of a house that we have prayed for AND all of this is happening with timing that I could not have laid out better if I would have tried.  God's blessings, His timing, His love are all around me and it is overwhelming - matter of fact, writing this blog makes me overwhelmed with thanksgiving.

So, with all these blessings and lavishing of God's love, why have I experienced moments of worry, doubt, fear??? Because the Devil doesn't want me to live with JOY - the Devil doesn't want me to experience God's blessings - the Devil thrives on attempts at stealing the joy of God's children.  For the last week or so, I've had moments of anxiety, fear, doubt, and worry that are unusual for me, especially in a season such as this - a season of blessings.  As these feelings have come, I've prayed the scriptures that I always pray when anxiety rises in my mind and yes, God's Word has come to life and has eased those fearful moments for a bit but the stinking enemy has been persistent and I've had to fight for my joy - literally, fight in the spiritual world - I've had to put on my armor of Truth and go at the Devil to keep him from stealing my joy...

I sit here now, writing this blog, feeling more at ease, more blessed, and more genuinely free of anxiety than I have in two weeks.  Why the change?  What made the difference? Diligence, persistence...refusing to give in to the Devil's lies while at the same time and with even more diligence and persistence - seeking My Friend and Savior, Jesus!  Jesus has made me whole again today - He has pieced my doubtful mind back together - He brought me in remembrance of His promises - that He is a friend that will never leave me, that He is the ultimate Comforter, that He KNOWS what it's like to live on this Earth and experience the Devil's evil temptations and then, most importantly, with the reminder that He has defeated that liar on my behalf and that He wants me to have His Joy - He has reminded me today that when I rest in what He has done for me, I don't have to worry, doubt, or fear - just trust and count my blessings along the way! How did this renewal of mind take place???? Like this...

After battling some very negative thoughts through the night, I woke up this morning desperate - begging for God to overwhelm me with His presence - to show me how to defeat this crazy mess going on in my mind and oh, how He came through.  At first, I found myself struggling on where to go in His Word - I didn't know what to read, where to begin studying, so I just started praying - talking to God - being honest with Him - I told Him that I wanted to know more about Jesus - that I want to KNOW Him so well that I give my whole self to Him - not pieces, but my whole self.  As I prayed, I realized - that is part of my problem, I'm holding back so much of myself - hanging on to fleshly desires and worldly relationships that I'm not allowing Jesus to use His power to make me whole - I asked God, "Help me to know my maker so well that I don't worry about what I will go through on this Earth or what the future holds but that my eyes and heart are so focused on Jesus that all worries go away - that I will experience the joy He set before me."

During this prayer time, God led me to a page in a book that I am reading (I have actually been reading bits and pieces of it for months now). The book said this, "To read His message in moments, I'll need to read His passion on the page; wear the lens of the Word, to read His writing in the world.  Only the Word is the answer to rightly reading the world, because The Word has nail-scarred hands that cup our face close, wipe away the tears running down, has eyes to look deep into our brimming ache, and whisper, 'I know. I know.' The passion on the page is a PERSON, and the lens I wear of the Word is not abstract idea but the eyes of the God-Man who came and KNOWS the pain." (Ann Voskamp)

This quote broke me - it reminded me that the Bible I was holding in my lap was a LIVING Word - Jesus - this quote reminded me of the REALNESS of my savior - He is not some abstract person that someone wrote about in a book - He is a LIVING savior - a savior that experienced more pain, more anguish, more temptation than I could ever imagine and He did it all for ME. He is a LIVING savior that wants to wipe away my tears (for me - the tears of fear). He is a LIVING savior that wants to whisper to me that He knows what I'm going through and that He cares.  The quote reminded me that Jesus is my savior and my FRIEND...and that realization led me to the scripture in the Word of God - John 15:11-15 which says, "I have spoken these things to you so that My joy may be in you and your joy may be complete.  This is My command:  Love one another as I have loved you.  No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for friends. You are My Friends if you do what I command you.  I do not call you slaves anymore, because a slave doesn't know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from My Father."

Right there, in my little brown chair in my quiet living room, Jesus reminded me that I am a friend of His and He wants me to experience JOY in Him.  What can I say?  The fear, doubt, and worry were gone and I sat there in tears holding onto my best friend - Jesus - the savior who will never forsake me - never leave me alone!  Oh, what joy flooded my soul!!!  And...continues to flood my soul now...

As I have continued to go through my day with this overwhelming joy, I opened an email from this same author (Ann Voskamp) and in her blog email, she stated this, "It's when you count blessings - you see Who can be counted on.  It's when you count the ways He loves, that your life multiplies joy.  It's a life that counts blessings - that discovers it's yielding more than it seems. The secret to joy - is to keep seeking God where you doubt He is."

Oh...what a powerful reminder....so, as I sit here now piecing this altogether - this answered prayer - I know what I am to do - I am to look around me, count these wonderful blessings God has given me, and to praise Jesus out loud for each one and with each word of praise, the JOY in my friend, Jesus, comes alive in my Spirit and the Devil's attempts at fear and doubt HAVE TO HIDE.

Gang - today and everyday, I am so thankful that God's grace and mercy led me to Jesus - to the only ONE who can set me free and make me whole!

Love,
Toddy